Be careful not to step too far into the English Lounge . . .

Not a Limerick! Just some off-the-wall humor. The English Lounge in ECC B235 has this sign on the wall:

"Magazines and newspapers may be read only just inside the English Lounge."

Think about that for a while . . .

Ill Logical Syllogism

Gold?

I need to get a little money, and I've figured a way to do so if people will just cooperate:

Ill Logical Syllogism

All that glitters is not gold.
Gold glitters.
Gold is not gold.

As this Ill Logical Syllogism 'proves,' all that yellow, soft, metallic, glowing, arguably glittering stuff called gold is worthless, and offers nothing of value, and I will gladly take it all off your hands.

Apple apps: Engrish

Apple Watch

In the Cloud

or

In the Fog?

Here they are, 'English' translations provided in this week's weekly email from Apple Watch, which sounds like an organization formed to keep an eye on Apple, but which actually seems to be an Apple timepiece, so we're not talking here about doing time but about keeping time:

1. All the big vessels, making UND click the "Like" iPhone photo shoot secrets.

2. Well how to edit photos.

3. Reporting also create your own songs on your iPad, Also found the sound of his own doing.

4. To take a fantastic videos on iPhone Kkultip and tricks that allow.

5. A great app idea that only my head The iPad into a reality.

As I've already noted above, I receive such messages once a week. I can't quite consider them spam because I like them for their inadvertent humor and suspect I could benefit through mining them for lines in "Language Poems"!

Murakami: Running Off at the Mouth?

This title looks interesting:

What I Talk about When I Talk about Talking about What I Talk about When I'm Talking about Talking about Running

As does this:

"So the fact that I'm me and no one else is one of my greatest assets. Emotional hurt is the price a person has to pay in order to be independent."

The man knows what he's talking about!

(Lest there be any misunderstanding, no humor in this blog post intends any harm, so take all humor here as mild satire.)

A German Joke: Will Cause Laughter

The German Joke

Interlocutor 1: Why is 10 afraid?

Interlocutor 2: I don't know. Why?

Interlocutor 1: Because 7 8 9!

Interlocutor 2: Oh.

Interlocutor 1: Why is 4 filled with fear??

Interlocutor 2: Because 1 2 3?

Interlocutor 1: No, idiot! Because 4 is a German!

Interlocutor 2: I don't get it.

Interlocutor 1: The number "4" is a German! Hence "Vier," which sounds like "fear."

Interlocutor 2: Okay, but why is 4 a German?

Interlocutor 1: Because it's the punch line dammit!

Interlocutor 2: Oh. Very funny. Hah-hah. No wonder they say German jokes are nothing to laugh at.

DepthFool is right . . .

Frosty the Criminal

"Do you want to build a Yentl?"

sounds suspiciously like

"Papa can you snow man?"

. . . or somesuch.

Joke's on You?

You Fool!

He who laughs last, laughs, best he not be thought a fool.

Beyond our Ken

Ken No Kin To Ken

But what, then, does "Ken" mean?

Meaning: Understanding

As in: Beyond our Understanding

Humpf, I knew that already.

As for the name "Ken," from "Kenneth," see here.

It's cliché to say so, but . . .

Middle Matter

. . . "cliché" is so often described as an "overly commonplace, banal, or trite saying, expression, or idea."

Can't anyone offer something different, something good to say about clichés?

Don't Angrify the Blood

Aku vs Lord Hater

Today's idiolectual idiom: "Mad as a hater."

Note: The rare word "hater" rhymes with the common word "tater."

What? Not "hater?" "Hatter?" Okay, "Hatter" it is!

Mad as a "hatter,"
That's whatsamatter.

Proof of Error!

Here are the Photos Substantiating Yesterday's Blog Post

Korea Herald of February 19, 2018

Click on Images to Enlarge

Curing?

(Okay, so it's only wrong one time out of thrice.)

Chef?

(But this one's wrong one time out of once!)

Winter Olympics: Korean Traditional Medicine and Fine American Cooking?

South Korea's female curing team
competes in the match with China . . .
on Feb. 18, 2018. (Yonhap)

Whether Yonhap or The Korea Herald is responsible, somebody needs to double check English spelling and not refer to the sport depicted above as Korea's "curing team."

In the same issue (February 19, 2018), The Korea Herald referred to Secretary of State Tillerson as the "chef diplomat"! Perhaps the writer was thinking of Yevgeniy Prigozhin, often called "Putin's chef."

But these are easy errors to make . . . and to electronically correct. However, I have the hard copy as proof of these two mistakes.

Murphy's Law?

Shouldn't "law" be capitalized?

I've been sitting here trying to recall Murphy's Law:

"If anything can go wrong, it'll."

But what I've reconstructed doesn't sound quite right . . .

Siri-Us Tough

Name Calling

Don't call us, we'll call you names!

True-Lie: Archaic Spelling of Truly

One Unit of Horsepower

Don't Even Think It!

Don't change horses in midst ream.

We're talking 500 sheets of copier paper per ream, not some vulgar meaning. A copier is sometimes called a 'horse' because it runs on just one unit of horsepower, a throwback to the Middle Ages, when copy machines ran on the energy provided by real horses!

Anyway, the advice is to finish the entire ream before changing to a different copy machine.

Party Animal: Too Young to Plan Ahead

Born Yesterday

Ignoramus et Ignorabimus?

A fish out of water is all wet!

Moral: Dry Up and Think Ahead

(Order more bottled water next time . . .)

Fossilized Turn of a Phrase Concerning a Prehistoric Measuring Stick

Sticks

"More than you can shake a stick at!"

The purpose of such a stick was to measure what was beyond one's capacity.

For example, two or three wolves might be held off with a stick, but more than three was "a lot" of wolves, and you knew it because the wolves weren't cowed by your stick, no matter how hard you shook that stick at them.

In which case, run!

Procrastinators!

Sterling Advice

"But don't put off until tomorrow what you can do tonight!"

(You might not be up to it tomorrow . . .)

Words of Wit-Dumb

One Dollar Bill

Another day, another dollar isn't worth another day . . .

Straw Dog

Goddog the Straw Dog

"A drowning man will clutch at a straw dog."