Thursday, August 13, 2020

Let's Play Infantilize the Idiom!

 It's raining kits and pups out there!

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

My first encounter . . .

 . . . with the sign that announces:


No Shirt!

No Shoes!

No Service!


I said, "Man, they don't have anything here!"

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

With men like Abolghasem Yaghoubi . . .

Abolghasem Yaghoubi, representative of Iran's Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei in the Khorasan Shomali province, said in a recent sermon that Allah has forbidden pork because:

"Pork contains a vitamin - a kind of microbe - that weakens the zeal of people who eat too much pork."

Modern scientists discovered this fact, and I have thereby learned that a vitamin is a microbe. We are indeed fortunate that such scientifically informed men are responsible for Iran's scientific prowess.

Monday, August 10, 2020

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to work we go . . .

Heigh-ho, the wick is dead!

Wich old wick?

The wich-ed wick!

Heigh-ho, the wich-ed wick is dead!


Wasn't this song from the animated film "Bloody Lips and the Seven Vertically Challenged Individuals"?

Sunday, August 09, 2020

Two Proverbs

Pride goeth before a fall.

Humility goeth before a spring.

Saturday, August 08, 2020

New Word: Afterlifeless

To be read as meaning: afterlife less?

Or

 To be read as meaning: after lifeless?

Friday, August 07, 2020

BUILD BACK BETTER BIDEN!

Over at Kevin Kim's blog, Kevin criticizes the Biden campaign's slogan, which he quotes as:

BUILD BACK BETTER!

I tell him that he has misquoted. As one can see from the photo that Kevin provides, the slogan is actually:

BUILD BACK BETTER BIDEN!

The Biden campaign is currently deconstructing Biden. When finished with that, the campaign will build him back better than before. If this works and Biden wins the presidency, Biden's administration will attempt the same with America itself.

Thursday, August 06, 2020

New Proverb!

The Devil finds work for idol hands.

Wednesday, August 05, 2020

Practicing opening lines . . .

Here's a sample: 

The Walker

The day is humid now, and the leaf-filtered light is green on the woodland path. I have been walking a long time, but I don't know how long. I do not recall beginning this walk. I recall becoming aware of myself walking.

Naked go I. I know that I am naked. I know what clothes are. Have I ever worn clothes? I do not know. How can I know so much and know so little? . . .

Enticing? But where do I go (so to speak) from here?Would third-person singular work better? And which gender, masculine or feminine?

Tuesday, August 04, 2020

The Bottomless Bottle of Beer

Gina Fields, one of my friends from my Baylor years, a woman with whom I worked in Collins Cafeteria those many years ago - over forty years now! - has just finished reading my first novella, The Bottomless Bottle of Beer, and here is her brief but positive review:

Fun and thought-provoking . . . The lovely interweaving of classic fiction writers combined with Mr. Hodges' keen wit and imagination produced a story worth reading. This carefully crafted and entertaining novella can be read and appreciated on several levels. I highly recommend it.

You can go and take a look yourself, if interested (and even if not), but note that only the electronic version is available as yet. I hope to have a paperback edition ready soon.

I should note that lawyers in particular ought to take a special interest in this book, for a central issue concerns law. Perhaps the legal aspect appealed to Gina, for she herself is a lawyer. Maybe she'll add a comment here to let us know.

Monday, August 03, 2020

And all the boards did shrink . . .

Everyone has by now caught on to yesterday's joke and surely realizes that dihydrogen monoxide is really hydric acid.

Sunday, August 02, 2020

Names Matter!

I have somewhere exposed the fact that hydrogen hydroxide is really just another name for dihydrogen monoxide, which should be banned!" Why, the very name itself runs chills down my spine!

Saturday, August 01, 2020

A Tom Swifty?

"Yours is a biting remark!" she snapped at him for sharply lowering her grade.

Perhaps even a double Tom Swifty?