"Koreans are natural-born semicon [people]"

Suryong Kim Jong-il

Also a "natural-born semicon"

(Image from Wikipedia)

Today, the day that I have been dreading all summer long, the day that I have been meticulously preparing myself for, the first moon day in the first of the four misnamed months, the greatest day of days, has finally arrived.

The semester begins.

And I must now face students. Korean students. A fearsome prospect, as all of us non-Korean instructors here now know, for we have word from on high that:

"Koreans are the smartest, most sophisticated and best educated people."

So says Quack Noh-kwon (or Kwak Noh-kwon, spellings vary), as reported in the August 29th edition of The Korea Herald. Who is this Quack? The formidable mind behind these words, the inestimable Quack, serves as Chairman and CEO of HANMI Semicon, and as a smart, educated Korean himself, he has also expressed some very sophisticated views of his own on the great success to be expected not only by the Korean semicon industry but even by the Korean nation:

"I am sure that if we rule the semicon industry, we can rule the world, just like the human brain rules the whole body."

Now, this sounds so much like a summary of the Kim Jong-il's juche (joo-cheh) philosophy that I have to wonder which Korea is going to "rule the world," and I wish that Quack had been asked that question because the answer is too far above the powers of my unsophisticated non-Korean brain, which needs a great, beloved leader like North Korea's inerrant Suryong:

[T]he Suryong [i.e., the leader] . . . and the masses are integrated into an immortal socio-political body, the brain (center) of which is the Suryong, and . . . political life, which is immortal, is given by this socio-political body, and therefore, the masses are only required to obey unconditionally the brain of the body, which is the Suryong. (Young Whan Kihl, "North Korea's Political Problem," NAPSNet Policy Forum Online, #12, November 25, 1997, The Nautilus Institute for Security and Sustainable Development)

Unfortunately, those of us living here in South Korea lack the superior guiding leadership of the very great Suryong Kim Jong-il, but we at least have great leaders like the immortal Suryong Quack, who is much too busy to stop for death:

Even though Quack turns 70 next year, he is too busy to stop. He says he does not have time to think about retirement.

That's good news for all of us non-brains, but I do have a lingering concern over what we mere non-Korean busybodies teaching here in Korea should do if Quack remains in his semicon state, for my non-brain body needs clear, directive leadership since it must today face these "smartest, most sophisticated and best educated people," my Korean students.

Actually, they are pretty good...