When Scammers Go Too Far . . .

Global Piece and Such Stuff . . .

(Image from Wikipedia)

Yesterday, I received a piece of scam spam that announced:

2011 International Seminar invitation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!..

That line started off soberly enough:

2011 International Seminar

But began to lose the plot by falling into the miniscule:

invitation

And abruptly and entirely forgot any proper demeanor at all in its greed to impress:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before recalling its intended propriety, adding two full stops to restrain its enthusiasm for whatever it's angling after:

..

Then adding that this message was sent to me from the:

Unity for Peace Building

Oh, they've got a 'Building' for that, have they? Well, I suppose I can support unity for something as focused as a building -- if that's what they want. Or do they mean "Unity for Building Peace"? That would be somewhat more diffuse. But anyway, there's nothing quite like the personal touch, punctuated with a significant period:

Dear Sir/Madam.

Full stop there. After which, I'm finally informed that I'm being extended an invitation:

The Unity for Peace Building Organization is extending to you an invitation to attend the international seminar meeting on Global Peace and Health Security that will commence from 22nd August to 26th August 2011 . . .

That must be one helluva commencement if it takes five days! I wonder how long this "international seminar meeting" itself will last.

. . . at 4047 West Palm Drive Florida City, FL 33034 United States of America.

Wow! I might get to visit the United States of America! I've always wanted to visit the US for about a year now since my last visit! The folks at the "2011 International Seminar" like to emphasize this American angle:

It is our great privilege to invite you to attend this international seminar with us here in United States of America.

Fine. Glad to. But what's this specifically about:

The seminar meeting will contain various discussions and mini workshops related to the issues of Global Peace and Importance of Health Security. For registration guidance Please contact the conference secretary for more details.

Not sure what the mini has to do with peace or security -- miniskirts have always tended to leave me antsy and unsure of myself -- but the conference secretary will likely explain all:

Head of secretariat
External Affairs Director of UPB

That is puzzling. No name. Just a 'Head'. I wonder how literally I'm to take that -- hopefully not so literally as the "Head" of NICE (National Institute of Coordinated Experiments) at its Belbury mansion in Lewis's Hideous Strength!

But perhaps it's merely a horse's head . . .

Wait, there's a note:

Note: you will be provided with visa assistant for only those that needs the United States visa in their passport to attend this meeting with us, and air round trip tickets to attend this seminar will also be provided by this organization to all interested participants. The Workshop welcomes paper presentation from any interested participants. Do contact the conference secretary for guidance regarding registration.

Great! They'll pay my way -- not just there, but even there and back! Best of all, I need not even present a paper. I'm merely welcome to. And they're happy to do all this:

Once again we thank you for the interest to attend this meeting with us.

And to show their sincerity, they sign off 'Sincerely':

Yours Sincerely,

Ms. Oprah Walton.

Well, who could distrust an 'Oprah' -- especially one related to the Walton Family! Wait, what's this:

This email has been sent using the SAIL RDCIS, Ranchi Jharkhand , Webmail. "SAIL RDCIS - Jharkhand, INDIA"

Organized in the US, outsourced to India? Sorry, but I support American labor, so I won't be attending this 'Seminar'.

Besides, I've always been taught that one should use exclamation marks sparingly, whereas these folks use fourteen of them: "!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

That's goes just a bit too far for a reserved fellow like me . . .