Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Poetry Break: Horsing Around


Horse Sense:

Horsing Around
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink a beer.

Unless you pay . . .


Monday, May 30, 2016

Poetry Break: Breaking Up

Cracking Up
Google Images

Nothing like breaking the ice!

Breaking Up
Absence makes the heart go founder.

The heart is a foundlings home . . . in a foundry.


Sunday, May 29, 2016

Poetry Break: The Truth

Truth Lies?
Google Images

The truth about "policy":

The Truth
Honesty is the best policy is not honesty.

Scout's honor!


Saturday, May 28, 2016

Poetry Break: Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes


Like Lazarus, Bowie still plays on my mind:

Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes
A change is only as strong as its slinkiest wink.

Can I get a second opinion?


Friday, May 27, 2016

Poetry Break: Halloween Rule

We're off to see the Lizard,
the wonderful Lizard of Oz
Borrowed from Northwest Crossing

Everything is encouraged:

Halloween Rule
Trick or treat others as you would have them trick or treat you.

Halloween every day! But what if I don't want to be trick-or-treated?


Thursday, May 26, 2016

Poetry Break: Overripe

Concerned Cattle
"Is my lipstick still green enough?"
Google Images

Yet another California-friendly blog entry:

The grass is always greener on the other side of hell.

You just have to cross the dell . . .


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Poetry Break: Headlines

Neanderthal Head
Google Images

Stop while ahead:

Two heads are better than one more heading.

How many feet are in one head of cattle? Can cattle count? Or are they no account creatures?


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Poetry Break: Bad Advice

And Proud Enough to Show My Face!
(Keep looking - I'll show up . . .)

Why I'm the black sheep of the family:

Bad Advice
Don't put all your eggs in one basket - sleep around!

Yeah, I'm the black sheep of the family because my advice is Baad!


Monday, May 23, 2016

Poetry Break: Reality Principle

Laws and all:

Reality Principle
Good things come to those who wait . . . but also bad things.

It's the law of gravity . . .


Sunday, May 22, 2016

Poetry Break: Clown Around Romance

Getting down to nitty-gritty:

Clown Around Romance
You can't judge a book by its cover, but . . .

Perhaps you sometimes can.


Saturday, May 21, 2016

Poetry Break: Zappa Moment

Google Images
You got to shop around!

My name is "Price" - and I am funny:

Zappa Moment

Necessity is the unwed mother of invention.

Falsity is the disclaiming father of invention.


Friday, May 20, 2016

Poetry Break: Family Matters

This sounds familiar . . . and thereby contemptuous:

Family Matters
Familiarity breeds contempt and familiarity.

It's a vicious cycle . . .


Thursday, May 19, 2016

Poetry Break: Beholden

Ruby Red Slippers
Must've cost a lot . . . or were they stolen?
Google Images

True love puts you in debt:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and blinds him.

Or her.


Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Poetry Break: Timely Conundrum

Conundrum 3
By GarE Maxton

The origin of conundrum is a conundrum:

Timely Conundrum
There's no time like the present conundrum.

But if there's no time like the present, there's no no time at all . . .


Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Poetry Break: Shinola from Sh*t


Offensive one-liner:

Shinola from Sh*t
One man's trash is another man's treasure, sh*thead.

Is "sh*t" still too vulgar to spell outright? Eh? Nobody's ever spelled it o-u-t-r-i-g-h-t!


Monday, May 16, 2016

Poetry Break: Super Glue

Bonding Agent
007 James Bond
Just Kidding

A good team bonds well:

Super Glue
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em together forever.

Bond with us, Jack, for ever and ever and ever . . .


Sunday, May 15, 2016

Poetry Break: Lucky Streak

Lucky Strike, Unlucky Streak
You're Toast

The state of the world:

Lucky Streak
All good things must end - mostly before they begin.

And this, too, shall pass . . .


Saturday, May 14, 2016

Poetry Break: A Gnawing Thought

Read this annoying thought:
A Gnawing Thought
Don't bite the hand that feeds you - but the other one . . .
Unless that hand is on the one-armed bandit . . .


Friday, May 13, 2016

Poetry Break: Big Issue

Fishing Pole

Don't even think about it!

Big Issue
Easy come, easy go? Don't touch this with a four-foot pole!

At a loss for words . . .


Thursday, May 12, 2016

Poetry Break: Mixed Genres

The true fairy tales are rather grim:

Mixed Genres
Too many cooks spoil the Broth-ers Grimm.

Not meant for the fearful hearted . . .


Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Poetry Break: Grim Repair

Artist: Doomsberry

Rule of Thumb Soteriology:

Grim Repair
If it ain't broke, don't fix it now for good!

Which'd mean for bad.


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Poetry Break: Very Yoo-Glee

Jeffery Hodges

I think En-Uk captured me better than this photo does! But on to the one-liner:

Very Yoo-Glee
Practice makes perfect . . . ten thousand times aft!

I've got yoo-glee down pat! Or is that "u-gly"? Orthographic experts, please advise . . .


Monday, May 09, 2016

Picture Perfect?

Horace Jeffery Hodges
By En-Uk Sequoya Hwang, Artist

My younger child, En-Uk - a high-schooler now - wants to be an artist, so he recently sketched me, as you see above, and I think he caught quite well my misanthropic white male gaze - along with a dash of Cherokee.

I told him that my ear looks strange. He said that's what my ear really looks like.

I'd ask him why his name is emerging from my head, but he'd just ask if I'd rather have it emerging from my loins, and no, I suppose I wouldn't want that . . .


Sunday, May 08, 2016

Poetry Break: Truth Be Told

Ian George Bolton
Grammar Zone
October 17, 2015

Back to the one-liner poems:

Truth Be Told
Actions speak louder than these eight words, too?

But how does one enact these words?


Saturday, May 07, 2016

Poetry Break: Triple Plus Negative

Quad Neg
Google Images

Maybe there's something to this quadruple negative, after all . . .

Triple Plus Negative
Beggars can't be choosers, not no way, no.

They all cancel out . . . "Times are changing, now the poor get fat . . ."


Friday, May 06, 2016

Robert Parigi Commissions a Painting by Terrance Lindall

Madonna of the Monsters
Terrance Lindall

Writer, producer, and directer Robert Parigi recently contacted Terrance Lindall to commission a painting, and after several discussions by email, Mr. Parigi suggested the following:
Here is the idea that occurred to me for the painting: The Madonna of the Monsters. A fictional (?) saint of monsters, who would have some such prayer...

Our Lady of Monsters, pray for us!
Intercede for us with the creator of Light and Dark, the Master who wrote the Law and gave us Liberty; the Sovereign who lets us do as we please, the Judge who forgives us; the Reaper who planted a taste for horror in our minds so as to win over our hearts.
Have pity on madmen and madwomen! For no monsters exist in the sight of Him who alone invented them, and who knows how they invented themselves.
Parigi adds that this was "stolen and revised without permission from Baudelaire" - a feat that I admire since I did much the same in a passage of my novella The Bottomless Bottle of Beer.

Anyway, Mr. Parigi and Terrance are speculating about further collaboration, but this might remain pie-in-the-sky since both are very busy men.

I'll let you all know if anything down to earth comes of their speculations.

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Thursday, May 05, 2016

Poetry Break: Disinformation

Boil Over

Modern Science:

A watched pot never boils isn't true.

I've looked down those non-Euclidean tracks and seen that watched pot start boiling where those parallel rails meet. My point is that the watched pot does boil . . . after an infinite amount of time.


Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Poetry Break: Diminishing Returns

Feel the Charisma!
Google Images


Diminishing Returns
Godliness is next to cleanliness.

Not quite like saying "Cleanliness is next to godliness," is it? Diminishes godliness, somehow, don't you think? Implies that cleanliness is the standard toward which to aim . . .


Tuesday, May 03, 2016

Poetry Break: Feel Frust!

Can Stock Photo 3,986,275
Google Images

A lesson in frustration:

Feel Frust!
You can't always get what you want . . . or need.

Try some time. You'll see.


Monday, May 02, 2016

Poetry Break: Little Lawbreakers

Baffled Ape
Google Images

Lead us not into strange idioms . . .

Little Lawbreakers
God help those who just can't help but help themselves!

This doesn't mean what you think it means, you baffled anthropoid, and who gave you leave to be here, anyway?


Sunday, May 01, 2016

Poetry Break: Tiny Terrorists

Cherry Bomblets
Google Images

Some have visions of grammar:

Tiny Terrorists

You can't make a bomblet without breaking a few legs.

But as for a bomb . . . a few more appendages are asked for.