Thursday, September 06, 2007

Textual Relations with a T-Shirt

Let's keep things in context...
I'm merely trying to help.
(Image from

Yesterday's blog entry about a woman's t-shirt has occasioned a number of insinuations -- with a bit too much accent on that second syllable:
Please note that the "sin" here deserves only minor stress, the major emphasis being elsewhere, way elsewhere:
Now as to my other-than-prurient interests in a certain t-shirt, allow me explain myself clearly -- and I will draw upon some of the discussion in yesterday's comments to make my point.

In staring at the back side of that woman's t-shirt, I was -- as I later discovered upon learning the meaning of "allantion" -- merely trying to educate myself about skin care.

Close readers will have noted that my eyes were directed solely to the text inscribed upon the t-shirt, not to the woman beneath that skirt. I mean shirt. Anyway, as I explained in the comments, although postmodernists would have it that all the world's a text -- a convenient philosophy for anyone who might wish to imply that my textual interests extended beyond the text on the shirt to the text beneath the text -- I insist that I was merely looking at the body of text on the shirt. That the shirt was clothing a woman was immaterial, mere pretext.

But I want to say one thing to my readers. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I did not have textual relations with that woman.

I admit that I did have textual relations with that woman's shirt, so I should perhaps remind readers of precisely what the text was:
In your life and work, you will meet many kinds of people. Some will be hardworking. Others will be less so. Some will be outgoing. Others will be shy. Some will be kind. Others will be unkind. Some will be your friends. Some will not (etc.) . . . . They all deserve your allantion.
Such was my focus, my attention, and even as I passed the woman bearing this text, I didn't so much as glance at her face, so intent was I upon retaining the puzzling wisdom that I'd just read concerning the fact of everybody needing my allantion.

Not that a glance would have made any difference anyway, for I'm just a little bit too married for any other woman...

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At 9:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


You seem not to mention any text on this shirt. Was there any by the way? Very nice jeans though.


At 9:33 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Uh, jeans? ... what jeans?

Anyway, you need only direct your attention to the shirt, JK.

The shirt.

The text lies there. Not that it lies, though it may, in fact, do so. I don't find it especially trustworthy...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 9:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Bo-Hink,

Your suggestion that the scholar carry a camera is helpful to a hillbilly. Really helpful.

And JK was wondering if the scholar passed his previous subject or merely slowed his pace. His reply to you seems to have cleared that one mystery. But now it seems we may have another. JK knows what he'd have done. He'd have affected his Ozarkian best, put his most lost expression on (easily called forth) and said something very debonair like, "uh are you walking far? Your t-shirt seems to indicate so."

Of course JK is unmarried but (that word again) unfortunately some thousands of miles away. Seems there's alot of stout subjects on JK's campus.


At 9:37 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

JK, I still lack that camera, but if you go to, you'll find hundreds of photos with interesting texts written upon them...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

By Golly You're Right,

As JK was waiting for his computer to "save" he did notice some text.

If you happen to chance upon her tell her the way is East or West. Doggone it scholar don't you realize as a teacher your first duty is to teach? She's Lost! Her t-shirt says so. Oh the sadness she must be feeling.

Remember it's Melbourne. Arkansas, USA. I'm the guy in the fuel efficient red truck.

I kinda wish you'd stuck to putting up various illustrations of the actual structure of skin.


At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This will be the last time tonight JK visits this site. Nitroglycerin tastes terrible. right? I've suddenly become aware that the good doctor may have a genuine academically minded subject worthy of further study.


At 10:45 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

One can find everything here on Gypsy Scholar!

At least, everything fit to print or paste...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 7:20 PM, Blogger Deogolwulf said...

I hope you don't think I was insinuating anything, Prof. Hodges. Indeed no thought of your being interested in anything but the text had crossed my mind, until I read the thoughts that had crossed the minds of others.

At 8:13 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Deogolwulf, the effect is worse than I had feared, for I see that the thoughts of others are contagious and have insinuated themselves into even your ordinarily impregnable mind.

Fortunately, your very own blog provides the cure...

Jeffery Hodges

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