They all deserve my allantion?
(Image from Wikipedia)
As I was walking up the street toward campus from Bus 273's Kyung Hee University stop yesterday, I happened to notice that a woman just ahead of me and also heading for the campus was wearing one of those t-shirts with a long message on the back:
In your life and work, you will meet many kinds of people. Some will be hardworking. Others will be less so. Some will be outgoing. Others will be shy. Some will be kind. Others will be unkind. Some will be your friends. Some will not...And so on in that vein of modernist binary oppositions. Kind of obvious, mundane, quotidian. And lengthy. Clearly, I thought, the guy who made that t-shirt was an unfortunate nexus of too much time and too little imagination. Until I read his conclusion:
They all deserve your allantion.What the...? I thought. My allantion? What's that? Surely 'attention' was intended.
But this was strange. Living in East Asia, I often see what we native speakers jokingly call 'Engrish'. I still laugh about the attractive girl wearing the t-shirt with this message on its back side:
"Excreting."That one was also strange, yet the word was familiar enough. But "allantion"? Was there some peculiar East Asian confusion of ells for tees that I had totally missed in my long years living here? That's possible. The tip of the tongue is placed in approximately the same place for the "L" and "T" sounds, and could be confused, I suppose, but I've never previously encountered this linguistic confusion.
Or was this some obscure dermatological message, for as I later discovered, "allantion" is a genuine word:
This is a product which is extracted from the roots and leaves of the comfrey plat (sic: plant). This has been used for years to speed up healing. The soothing properties of this skin treatment along with the ability to renew healthy cells makes (sic: make) this product ideal for your anti-aging skin regimen. Allantion is traditionally used to heal bruises, heal wounds, and reduce inflammation, (and) this particular product has recently become well known for its ability to treat aging and damaged skin.If this was meant, then I suppose the message intended by the t-shirt designer was that everybody I meet needs good skin care, and that's probably true, but why does everybody deserve my allantion? And why do they deserve it? I neither have any allantion that I'm aware of nor understand why I'm placed under a moral obligation to supply all others with any allantion that I might happen to have.
Allation (sic: Allantion) is very good for soothing irritated skin. It also stimulates cell regeneration and moisturizes the driest skin. Because of these factors, Allantoin (sic: allantion) is an active ingredient which is found in many skin care products and anti-aging treatments. It is found is cleansers, toners, sun screens, and speciality skin care treatments.
Well, to hell with that! Socialism has already been tried and found wanting! Any allantion that I come into possession of will be my own allantion! What is it about the concept of ownership that you don't understand, Mr. T-Shirt Maker?
Stupid fricking t-shirt maker, trying to guilt-trip me into supplying the whole world with endless quantities of my own precious allantion...
Labels: Allantion, English, Kyung Hee University, Linguistics, Skin, Skin Care
posted by Horace Jeffery Hodges @ 4:09 AM
17 comments
17 Comments:
Uh,
Just how long did the Scholar guy spend reading what seems to have been a fairly long text block? Is such a thing just a Lit specialists' speciality? Was it neatly tucked into jeans or a skirt?
Doggone, I'm getting too old for wondering just what my long time (and himself older too) was doing "reading t-shirts."
This sort of thing lends itself to many interpretations. But I guess that is what academics do? Did you discuss todays' post with the wife Jeff? Perhaps it's just that JK has been single too long.
JK
Nevermind,
I think I know. The wife was with you and the academic in you thought ("ah, I'll couch my obviousness in academese").
Let us know if it worked.
JK
I see what you're implying, Mr. JK. Well, I'll have you know that I was not staring at 'that woman'; I was not doing anything of the kind. I was merely trying to educate myself about skin care...
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
How is it that JK seemed to get an image of "finger waggling?" But thank you for the one thing, an interest in skin care: far more effective than arguing "depends on what 'is is'."
JK has made a proper annotation in his journal should the need for a non-academic "why of course not my love" occur.
This is why JK visits Gypsy so often: aside from assistance with Milton, everyday stuff can be gleaned. But was it jeans or skirt? Well, being the academic, likely you only saw the the text.
JK
Ah, you caught the Slick Willy allusion...
Anyway, I did not have text with that woman!
I was merely looking the body of text on the shirt. That the shirt was clothing a woman was immaterial, mere pretext.
Although postmodernists would have it that all the world's a text...
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
Oh my!
Normally JK finds the use of an exclamation point deserving of a "red X" but given the -
"Anyway, I did not have text with that woman!"
JK simply wishes that rain were not in the Ozarks area and he did not have his windows open. His neighbors, not noticing a TV on thought JK's LOL moment a cause for concern.
But did it work with the wife?
Po po tweet.
JK
JK, I apologize for creating a ruckus.
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
Dr. Jeff,
You did not cause the ruckus.I want you to know this so that any other considerations of JK's well-being do not distract you. JK merely wishes to oh, understand complexity.
"I was merely looking the body of text on the shirt. That the shirt was clothing a woman was immaterial, mere pretext."
To state: "I was merely looking the body...", and omitting the preposition, seems to indicate the Lit Professor was preoccupied by something other than: well. Then mentioning that the "body" the Professor was academically examining (for errors apparently)was immaterially clothing a woman and further attempting language such as "mere pretext"?
How does a novice, a mere student, attempt to illustrate the simple subject/verb agreement, structure the sentence, understand the intent, or judge precisely the meaning.
We students depend upon such as yourself to educate us. Is this too much to ask?
JK
JK, yeah, I guess that sometimes, I am distracted, but as they say, "even Homer nodded."
And that observation was made by none other than Horace, my namesake...
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
"A picture is worth a thousand words" perhaps an investment in a cell phone that lets you take pictures is in order. As a tyro in the areas of lit and language I'd be the last to accuse you of lasciviousness. But The Bohemian promted me to ask...a simple how old was she?
BoHinK, actually, I have no idea. As I passed her, I didn't even glance at her face, so intent was I upon retaining the puzzling wisdom that I'd just read.
Not that it makes any difference, for I'm just a little bit too married for any other women...
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
"I was merely trying to educate myself about skin care..."
I shall try to remember that line.
Deogolwulf, that line has never yet failed me with women.
Though possibly because I've never tried it...
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
I can't really comment about "allantion," except to say that I think either "allantoin" or "attention" was intended.
However, I think that "excreting" is a valid euphemism for "shit happens."
Dave, does that mean that "allantion" is a misspelling for "allantoin"?
That seems to be the case, anyway. Thanks for supplying the correct term.
Good suggestion on "excreting," too.
By the way, I also think that "attention" was intended and that my linguistic musing about "tees" and "ells" was on target.
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
"Excreting" was especially funny. A few years ago, a Korean man gave me a nice leather day planner bearing the name "Usually 25." The word "Usually" is a registered trade mark. It's puzzling over here, but over there I suppose the sound and look of the word are appealing. It is made by the Yangjisa Co. Of course, we do the same thjing. People buy clothing emblazoned with cool Chinese characters that could say "punch me in the nose" for all they know.
David, you're right that one finds the same sort of thing in America with Chinese ideographs used as decoration. I also seem to recall a case in which Arabic was used on shoes, which Muslims found insulting, especially since the shoes seemed to be quoting the Quran!
These things exhibit our ignorance.
But "excreting" was puzzling to me because Koreans -- although not very good in English -- study the language for 7 years prior to university and are especially adept at memorizing vocabulary.
So ... why would a Korean woman, who ought to know better, purchase and wear a shirt advertising that she is 'excreting' something?
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
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