Saturday, March 03, 2007

Cocksure Opinion

Woody: Cocked and Ready
(Image from Wikipedia)

I had intended to post some incisive comments on the link between antisemitism and anti-Americanism, but something far more important has come up.

This morning, I received a puzzling email via the "Seoul Artists" e-list to which I belong. The message, written by a certain "Steelie McMath," asked me this pressing question:
"Ever dream of having a larger.. more thinker peniz!"
Or is this a question? It reads rather more like a curse. If we delete the "ever," substitute a comma for that disturbing, partial ellipse, and ignore the odd qualifier "more," we find:
"Dream of having a larger, more thinker peniz!"
That sounds imperative to me. Now, let's put "ever" back in, but in a position syntactically proper for a command:
"Dream ever of having a larger, more thinker peniz!"
As in "dream on, buddy"? Okay, I am being placed under a curse, an eternal one.

Now, I think that I know what a "peniz" is -- but let's retain this fortunate spelling -- and I can think counterfactually about what a larger one might entail, but in what way could one of those things be a thinker?

I don't deny that a peniz often seems to have a mind of its own, but that's more in the sense of a fixed mindset than a reflective one, so while it might be thought hard-set in its opinion, it's hardly thinking.

And I'm not sure that I'd want a "thinker peniz." With my luck, it'd be less Woody Woodpecker and more Woody Allen...



At 6:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A penis that could (acutally) think could have saved me a lot of trouble at points in my life. Heh.

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Fortunately, I've usually had strong enough inhibitions that I've avoided most such problems ... though not always.

What do you want to bet that the Big Ho links to this post? (That "Heh" of yours made me think of his usual response...)

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 10:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Smart bombs" work on the same principle, I believe. But they ARE called "smart" in spite of that

At 4:55 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

"Smart bombs ... same principle"?

Uh ... okay. So, does that make them less like Woody Woodpecker and more like Woody Allen?

Jeffery Hodges

* * *


Post a Comment

<< Home