Amusing Passage Across a Sea of Words . . .

Dr. H. Albertus Boli, LL.D.
Dr. Boli's Celebrated Magazine

I'm still reading and enjoying the pseudonymous Dr. Boli's novel experiment in penning a novel -- it's Boli's first, therefore new -- and as I was reading The Crimes of Galahad on the subway yesterday afternoon, I had to laugh aloud upon encountering the following passage, on page 304, in which the wicked hero of Boli's tale, Galahad, attempts to compose a speech asking a father for the hand of the father's very rich daughter:

My first attempt cost me half an hour of staring at a blank sheet, until at last I was able to bring myself to write something:

"Sir: It behooves every young man to consider carefully how-------------

That was as far as I got before I tossed the sheet aside. What a perfectly ridiculous way to begin. I made it sound as though I were applying for a position in his firm. And what sort of word was "behooves" anyway? Could it possibly even be English? The more I turned it over in my mind, the more absurd it sounded. Behooves, behooves, behooves, behooves, behooves. Horses and cattle are among the behooved animals. Obviously I was very tired, but I would not rest until the thing was done . . .

My fit of laughter was long and loud enough to attract and sustain the interest of several Koreans but not so long and loud as to warrant having me locked up for the safety of society, so I was allowed to travel home unhindered.

Which is good, else I shouldn't be writing these words now . . .