"Money makes the world go around..."

"Money, money, money

must be funny..."

(Image from Wikipedia)

Some readers may recall that I attempted early last March to get a successful old Ozark friend to charitably support me and my family. In return for that support, I offered her "the moral satisfaction of contributing to the happiness of a fellow human being," but she seemed content with her moral dissatisfaction . . . or possibly her immoral satisfaction.

I had given up on persuading my old friend to do her Christian duty, but the letter that I received from Theresa F. Rodrigues inspired me to try again:

As you will recall, my request for your money was refused, but some other money might be coming my way . . . . If you change your mind, [however,] you can always still contribute to supporting my starving children...

My friend took a look at the letter from Ms. Rodrigues -- along with the image of the Ecstasy of St Theresa, by Gian Lorenzo Bernini, which graced my blog post on that topic -- and she replied:

Before reading your blog I was thinking how beautiful the statue of Ecstasy of St. Teresa was and wondering if it was commissioned by Hugh Heffner. I have suspicions about the diary entry describing Teresa's experience and wonder if some of the words are just a little re-arranged to veil the true situation.

Then I read your blog and realized that you used it as an illustration for the story for just that reason. Art lover, sure!

I have recently gotten several new e-mails of this sort, but none with quite the creativity of yours.

I have reconsidered your request for money and have decided you are right that I should give it to you. If you send me half the amount you require, I will just send a check for twice the amount and you can have the surplus with no questions asked. Better yet, I will just bring the money to you! Sooner is better. I have a similar arrangement with my boys, except they are sending checks to me . . . very soon I hear.

Great news, that, but I had a little question -- and perhaps a better suggestion:

Your suggestion sounds like a really good deal -- sort of like a rebate, but much better.

But . . . I'm a bit unclear on the details:

"If you send me half the amount you require, I will just send a check for twice the amount and you can have the surplus with no questions asked."

I sense an ambiguity. Let's say that I need 10 dollars, so I send you 5. Now, would you be planning to send me twice the amount that I require (therefore 20 dollars) . . . or merely twice the amount that I send you (therefore 10 dollars)? The remark about "surplus" suggests the former.

Either way, I'd be happy, so I'm agreeable . . . but I find myself a bit short of cash. Cash flow problem, you understand. So, if you could send me the half-amount that I need, I will send it back to you, and you can then send me the double-amount that you meant.

How does that sound?

Best Regards,

Jeff

P.S. I need a lot more than 10 dollars. That was just an example. Really, I could easily accomodate all of your savings, no problem. So, why not just send it all, and we can avoid the extra paperwork.

I've not yet heard back, but I feel confident that my old childhood friend will find herself persuaded, decide to avoid all the paperwork, and come through with those funds that I have inquired about.

Of course, other readers are also welcome to enjoy that promised "moral satisfaction of contributing to the happiness of a fellow human being."