A profitless conversation...

Not entirely enthralled by life...

Where did I go wrong?

One of my old Ozark friends who has become far more successful than I in managing her practical affairs and the work of other people read my Ozark Photoblog recently, and she responded with this message:

I enjoyed your travelogue and forwarded a link to my sister in Salem. What did your children think? It must have been very different from their daily lives.

You did have the same expression on your face most of the time that I have in all my pictures. I think it is a combination of the face getting older and the attitude changing to one of not always being totally entralled with life. I'm thinking of seeing a plastic surgon about the physical thing, but I can't figure out what to do about the attitude. I did get a kitten. Maybe a dog or horse would help.

My friend is merely joking about the plastic surgery, for she looks fine, but she's right about my looks, as revealed by the above photo (which also incidently reveals two central reasons for my rapid aging), so perhaps I'm the one who needs to go under the knife. Anyway, I replied:

I'm glad that you liked my photoblog even if it was abbreviated . . . or maybe that helped in the enjoyment? I had intended a magnum opus but ran out of early morning darkness.

My kids loved the Ozarks. Sa-Rah announced that she wants to be a hillbilly, and En-Uk also wants to live there. It was very different than their daily urban lives, but they love nature and animals and want to live among them. We'll see...

Not totally enthralled with life? Well, I do feel enslaved by work's circumstances, so I'm in thrall to that degree. Money, lots of it, would help to free me, but I don't want to do what one has to do to earn that amount.

I left the Ozarks with high expectations and have learned to temper my enthusiasm about the future, so that's probably what you saw in my face. Besides, there's less of a future left as I get older. Actually, I'm rather happier than I deserve to be, given some of my youthful misbehavior. Perhaps the Lord is storing up the consequences of my sins for His Day of Wrath.

At least I don't have His job. Your own sounds a bit like what God has to do -- you know, keep people in line, motivate them to do better, kill them off if they've gone too far...

My friend focused on the essential point:

It seems we both got different parts of the ultimate life. I have money, but no family or personal life. You have the great family and meaningful studies, but not so much money. Why can't we have it all????

No family? She exaggerates, for she has three grown boys . . . though she is off on her own now. No personal life? I think that she's being coy, for she recently alluded to a vacation drive with a certain "disreputable scientist" -- and I don't think that she meant Hwang Woo-Suk. Nevertheless, I took her words at face value:

I agree with your sentiment -- why can't we have it all?!

And I have a solution, at least for one of us. I can't give you my family, but you could give me your money. Then, I would have it all and be completely fulfilled.

You could obtain the moral satisfaction of contributing to the happiness of a fellow human being.

What say you?

My friend was nearly persuaded:

Well, I must admit it is a good idea, but not original. It seems to have been popularized by southern TV preachers and perfected by my children and brother. I did consider it for a few minutes, though.

The starving children in Bhutan won out. And an airline.

Bhutan? What about my own starving children? They're always complaining that they're hungry. Don't friends have a moral obligation to help friends first? I sensed, however, that the moment had passed, and I bowed out gracefully:

I make no claims to originality. Most good ideas are borrowed anyway. At least you gave it a few minutes' consideration, more than such a suggestion would ordinarily receive . . . or warrant.

Enjoy the airline that you bought.

One would think that if she could afford to purchase an airline, then she could probably send some money my way. But I have my pride, and I shan't beg.

At least, I won't beg her. Not again, anyway. But if you, dear reader, wish to contribute to my existential happiness through a significant financial contribution, feel free to express your generosity anytime.

The sooner, the better.