Thursday, December 20, 2007

President-Elect Lee Myung-bak: Policy Suggestions from Gypsy Scholar

President-Elect Lee Myung-Bak
"Squinting to the future..."
(Image from JoongAng Ilbo)

In a record voter turnout, Lee Myung-bak has won the presidential election by a landslide -- almost most of all those Korean voters who voted actually cast their votes for him!

Okay, so we've factored down the concept of landslide to mean 50 percent of the vote, or thereabouts, and the record is a record low, but still, the guy won, and that's pretty darn good for a slippery politician who's been caught on video lying about his involvement in the obscure BBK scandal.

Hey, don't think that I'm dissing President-Elect Lee. I happen to kinda like the guy . . . even if he does always squint at me from those supposedly flattering campaign posters.

Anyway, since readers depend on my blog for political insight regarding peninsular matters, then I'm sure that everyone will be interested in my opinion as to what the future holds for Korea's President-Elect Lee.

Doubtless, there are two questions on everyone's mind:
Question 1: Will President Lee Myung-bak be the first Korean president to serve his time serving time?

Answer 1: No. As president, Lee can pardon himself.

Question 2: Will President Lee Myung-bak make a concerted, public effort to alert the whole world to the dangers of electrical fans, namely, the very real risk of fan death?

Answer 2: Definitely yes maybe. This is a very delicate issue upon which every Korean politican has had to tread very lightly. Now, each Korean knows -- and knows to the core of his or her Dokdo soul -- that fan death is real. Absolutely real. No doubts. And I agree with Koreans on this issue, as regular readers will recall. Many a time, I have promoted the truth of fan death on this blog, hoping to alert foreign readers mired in ignorance of the risk that they face on those hot, sultry summer nights in bed when they have to strip down to . . .
But let's not get so specific about that detail.

My point is that fans left running at night can kill you in your sleep, a truth that I've defended ad nauseum on this blog:
Fan Death is Real!

Fan Death Redux

Another fan-death disbeliever!

Doc Rock's diagnosis: "You've been smokin' way too many fans"

Nevertheless, fan death is real!
Okay, five posts in three years of blogging might not constitute an ad nauseum defense, but take a look at the comments, where much of my fan-death defense has been carried on. There, I've faced constant ridicule from non-Koreans who are aggressively ignorant about the scientific truth of fan death and who stoop to the lowest of personal attacks to ridicule me for my views.

I've been called crazy, stupid, drug-addled, ignorant, and even had my scientific knowledge questioned -- yes, questioned, despite my master's degree . . . in history of SCIENCE. Most recently, a commenter calling himself 'Christian' quoted one of my facts and denied it:
"[Hodges stated:] It's a little-known fact that the whirling blades [of a fan] cause disturbance in the ether that pervades the universe, and the ripple effect impairs organisms up to 500 feet distant."

[Christian blathered:] Yeah, that's true, it is so little known that I didnt knew about that. Oh,and btw, aether does not exist, and there was a famous experiment about that in the 19th century (and many other later): Michelson-Morley Experiment.
In my reply to this screed, I ignored Christian's difficulty with orthography and courteously focused upon his appalling scientific ignorance:
Christian, thanks for visiting and posting.

As for the Michelson-Morley experiment, it was obviously flawed. How else explain that those two so-called 'scientists' missed the obvious existence of the ether, the very fifth element known to natural philosophers since antiquity?

Yes, there are only five elements. Forget all that stuff you learned in chemistry. It's utterly wrong.

Only fan death is real.
How can anyone rationally argue with my view? Obviously, I know far more about the ether than 'Christian', who thinks that the ether doesn't even exist! I mean, how ignorant can one get?! Ether has existed since the days of the ancient Greeks!

So, you see what I'm up against in my struggle to publicize the very real risk of fan death. Those people whom I'm trying to save from mortal danger are the very ones who ridicule me.

So . . . I wouldn't blame President-Elect Lee Myung-bak if he opted to ignore the issue of fan death, for he has to deal with foreign policy and can't afford to jeopardize his credibility on international affairs by announcing to a hyperskeptical, disbelieving world that his administration has a position on fan death.

But this Lee administration definitely must take a position, even if an unannounced one, for no device so dangerous as an electrical fan can be ignored, especially since at least one other country does accept the scientific evidence for its deadly effects and is rumored to be pursuing a secretive fan-death program.

I refer, of course, to North Korea.

The danger is clear. A line of towering, gigantic electrical fans can be erected by the Communist North along the DMZ, and the threat of their being turned on at night when all of the South should be sleeping soundly after a hardworking, capitalist day will cause many an anxious, sleepless night and thereby significantly impair the South's economic performance.

To paraphrase the inspiring Churchill's famous words on spine-stiffened resistance to an oppressive regime's infamous, threatening rule:
That is something up with which we shall not put!
Let us echo those Churchillian words! The South must act now to protect itself, for under the progressives' Sunshine Policy of the past eight years, the North has already been left free to forge ahead with a fan-death program, and the South is in danger of falling behind. I therefore appeal to President-Elect Lee Myung-bak to act quickly:
"Mr. President, we cannot allow a fan-death gap!"

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15 Comments:

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Hathor said...

I think Lee Myung-Bak squints because he can't see and is self conscious about wearing glasses.

 
At 9:50 AM, Anonymous Charles said...

Actually, Lee Myung-bak is anything but self-conscious.

And I'm not usually one to go around defending political figures, but I think everyone realized that the decision to investigate the BBK scandal at that particular point in time was a thinly-veiled ploy to hurt Lee's chances.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Could be, Hathor. I hadn't thought of that.

Squinting doesn't seem to have harmed his electability, for he won pretty handily -- and would have gotten an even higher percent of the vote if the old conservative Lee Hoi Chang had not run against him as an idependent, for Lee Hoi Chang got about 15 percent of the vote.

I guess that people simply wanted change after 10 years of 'progressive' politics.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 9:57 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Charles, I agree with you about the motive for the sudden BBK investigation -- though from the latest video evidence, I also think that Lee Myung-bak has not been completely honest about his role in the BBK.

Still, if he takes courageous position of the North's fan-death program, I'll forgive him for being corrupt.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

 
At 3:29 PM, Anonymous kapok said...

JK is known to take undue risks and in such vein reports that the recent NIE (aside from the most publicized part) states:

(CIA) Director Hayden recommends US automakers follow what seems to be the Hyundai example. "US automakers should place the radiator cooling fans on [top of]the cabin of the vehicles in question, vent the air toward the front and through tha [sic] motor compartment. These retrofitted vehicles should then be transported to areas where the jet stream purportedly flows toward the NK portion of the penisula [sic]. We can thereby verify."

This came from an editorial staff meeting of FOX News executives and is not meant to be decimated among non-aligned conglomerates. Smog is a concern but careful analysis of jet stream patterns, and the subsequent hovering of vehicular traffic without an approved "up" signaling device must be considered.

Thank God for the CIA, and California's fifth column (lane).

JK

 
At 3:40 PM, Anonymous kapok said...

JK is embarrassed.

I meant to say "Fourth Column" when I said "Fifth" I was considering something else entirely.

Carry on.

JK

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

JK, we here in Korea thank you for passing this information along, regardless of the extraneous fifth, which was probably either a bottle or a column. Time will tell...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 4:35 PM, Anonymous kapok said...

Whether it was a column or a bottle means nothing.

It is the (CIA) recognized Fan Death !

Is no one listening?

(burp, 2 much albumen, or too, oh whatever. Tabasco please? And a spoon. I've a need to stir.)

JK

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Damn, there's that egg again. I don't trust it...

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

 
At 5:05 PM, Anonymous kapok said...

Oh doggone it, JK was thinking it was a misspelling, to wit:

"These retrofitted vehicles should then be transported to areas where the jet stream purportedly flows toward the NK portion of the penisula [sic]."

NOW ! Only now JK sees that America's super duper spying agency was right on in their Churchillian analysis.

"That is something up with which we shall not put!"

JK removes hereby, the [sic] from "the NK portion of the penisula". Those CIA guys are truly commensurate.

Sorry CIA guys, JK thought ya'll had misspelled something. I take it you've forged a new alliance with the new alliance of the South Korean new alliance.

But hey guys, reading your NIE's from year to year would confuse even a normal guy right?

JK

 
At 7:45 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Well, JK, you've certainly gotten me spooked.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

 
At 3:22 AM, Blogger Malcolm Pollack said...

Indeed, fan death is all too real. I'm sure we all remember this harrowing example.

 
At 3:59 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Malcolm, precisely. Fan death takes many forms.

I recall reading of a fan situated on the uppermost bench of a baseball stadium. The fan suddenly began cursing and swinging wildly in the air at some player's error, and that fan tumbled over backwards, falling several stories to certain death!

In this case, the fan perpetrated no violence upon another, but the inherent dangers of fans are again revealed.

Some skeptics might scoff -- and have -- but all fans are dangerous. As I've previously pointed out, the word "fan" is short for "fanatic"! Should one wonder any more about fan death when one thinks about that?

Koreans know what they're talking about...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 4:15 AM, Blogger Malcolm Pollack said...

Fan death CAN be prevented, however, as we learn here.

 
At 5:23 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Malcolm, thanks for that uplifting website. The most comforting words of solace that I read there were these:

"The trouble is - fans don't last forever."

Frankly, I don't see the trouble in that -- given that fans present such a mortal threat to those who use them -- so I take great comfort in these words.

Fans don't last forever. That's wonderful...

Jeffery Hodges

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