Happy Boxing Day!
Saint Pugnacious
(Image from 12/24/07 Daily Mail)
To all my British and Commonwealth readers: St. Pugnacious wishes you a Happy Boxing Day!
However, this saint, better known as Omar Bakri Muhammad, conveys somewhat less joyful greetings concerning Christmas itself. A recent article in the Daily Mail reports this message:
Omar Bakri . . . is calling on Brits to boycott Christmas. Using the internet to post . . . against the festive season, Bakri claims Christmas should be "completely forbidden" . . . . He said: "To have Christmas tree, visit so-called Christmas Father -- that is completely forbidden. Make sure you do not watch TV. Do not let them hear jingle bells. Do not send your children on Christmas trip." ("Hate cleric Omar Bakri calls for 'ban' on Christmas" Daily Mail, 12/24/2007)Do not let them hear jingle bells? According to The Polar Express, one can only hear Christmas bells jingle if one truly believes in Christmas, so I'm inferring that Omar Bakri has seen this film and understands the significance of hearing Christmas bells. But how can good Islamist parents ensure that their children not hear those damned bells? How does Omar Bakri do it? Wouldn't he himself have to actually hear an infidel bell? Perhaps he even discovers himself singing along to that catchy Christmas tune "Silver Bells" but conducts an inner spiritual struggle not to believe and so alters the words to render a more acceptable Islamist version:
Infidels (infidels)...Such a properly militant rewording of that otherwise lovely song would better fit with Omar Bakri's view that "Christmas Day would be the perfect day to launch a terror attack on the UK."
Infidels (infidels)...
It's Xmas time in the city:
(Clear the infidels, go...)
Wring-the-things (wring-the-things)...
Hear them scream (hear them scream)...
Soon it will be Xmas Day...
So . . . no, Omar Bakri doesn't like Christmas. But Boxing Day? St. Pugnacious says it's an okay day. Any day devoted to the spirit of fighting is a day that he can appreciate.
Labels: Christmas, Humor, Omar Bakri Muhammad, Terrorism
posted by Horace Jeffery Hodges @ 4:21 AM
12 comments
12 Comments:
Funny that "Jingle Bells" was originally an American Thanksgiving song.
I might have known -- St. Pugnacious is not only anti-Christmas but even anti-American!
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
To make it more palatable, (can you see the coming pun) for the jihadis might we substitue?
Triptophan, triptophan
giblets all the way!
Then what fun to don a vest
an' prematurely pull the string!
Of course this would preclude any second verse. But it would get more jihadi guys involved in the spirit of the thing.
JK
JK
I think that we all need to be coming up with as many ridiculous verses as we possibly can to ridicule these ashsats.
If not for the very real terrorist threat, they'd all be laughingstocks.
Consider Bakri himself: "Bakri has seven children who were born in the UK and relied on benefits for the past 19 years."
Think of it -- the 'man' lived on the dole for 19 years, and his only contribution to British society has been to leave it.
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
Well, it was his (seemingly?) exemplary contribution to society that he did finally leave, we should give him that.
But. You are correct, if it were not for that very, very real threat. I can pnly pray that he might see this post and recognize me for the infidel that I am (in his light) and contribute his worthy giblets to his "cause." Amongst his likeminded friends of course. It is the Season you know.
At the very least he might take a goat for any further progeniforial forays and further his own goals on an intellectually equal basis. (I know, I know, you've been grading essays and that's not in the OED)
But olfactorily speaking, the breath he uses making his pronouncements would have more in common (and thus be worthy of any food stamps he might in the future apply for) with his suggested, new mate.
JK
I'm telling you: get the Chipmunks to record that song and you'll be one wealthy infidel...
Eh . . . "progeniforial"? That word don't even Google! It's beyond my ken...
Still, I'm sure that it's meant in ridicule, so I approve.
Sesquipedalianly Yours,
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
Jeff, I gotta admit, it's a very squirrely song...
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
Well, it would take an ex-pat only provided he/she recognized the particular use of the letter "f" amongst progeny. And orial, JK started to use an "s". A non-ex living in the hills recognizes it immediately. "Stump training."
Obviously the guy needed to have kids that the infidels would support but now that he's out of the country who supported his progeny he can get down to what the jihadis (not wishing to commit the sin of Onan) seem wont to do.
Hence the goat. Hence the halitosis of both goats and a prohibition of all things.
Jingle Bells?
Something stinks in _________.
Jeff, ya been outta the hills too long.
JK
JK, you were always too swuft for me.
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
mullahishly speaking only, of course.
Justin
Of coarse.
Jeffery Hodges
* * *
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