Not because I'm lazy...

Gene Autry

"That's How I Got My Start"

(Image from GeneAutry.com)

. . . but because I'm pressed for time, I'm posting some dialogue -- from the "Big 5-0" birthday post -- between Sonagi (a good woman) and me (a man of questionable character).

Sonagi first offered commiseration -- I mean, birthday greetings:

Happy Birthday, Jeffery! I'm sure you've heard of the saying that growing old is better than the alternative.

I'm still recovering from 'the shock of "the death of youth"' when I reached the big 4-0 two years ago. People in their thirties, especially those still single and childless, can mingle with those in their twenties and still feel young. Once that 3 rolls over into a 4, it doesn't feel right to be socializing with people fresh out of college with few work or life experiences.

Like Charles, I watched Hawaii 5-0 as a kid. I'll let you in on a couple of secrets - Jack Lord was my first celebrity crush and I secretly dig Asian men with longish hair because they remind me of the show.

I replied, in my usual witty (or twitty) manner:

Thanks, Sonagi, but growing younger would be a good alternative, too.

You know -- well, probably you don't, which is why I'm telling you -- despite the Hawaii 5-0 reference, I actually never much watched the show.

In my Ozark town, only one channel got reception, channel 3 out of Springfield, Missouri, which was NBC, so I couldn't watch Hawaii 5-0 until I went off to university, when I no longer had time to watch. But as a cultural reference point, the show was well-known to me.

It was strange, growing up watching only NBC, then going off to college, where everybody else had seen shows from all three broadcasting companies.

For the first time, I learned of Monty Python -- and did watch that. Somehow, between classes, studying, and working, I managed to add a little British irony to my life...

To which, Sonagi replied, first by quoting my words and then by responding:

"It was strange, growing up watching only NBC, then going off to college, where everybody else had seen shows from all three broadcasting companies."

I can relate. My parents were die-hard CBS fans during the decade of the 70s when ABC's youthful line-up propelled it past CBS to claim the top spot in the ratings. We watched All in the Family, Good Times, and The Waltons while our friends laughed along with Happy Days and Laverne and Shirley and oohed and aahed at the stunts of the Six Million Dollar Man, the Bionic Woman, and Wonder Woman. We only got to watch the reruns during the summer.

What were your favorite toys and what were your favorite movies growing up? My favorite toys were my Barbie collection, especially the Happy Family, the black version of the Sunshine Family. I always got the black versions of trendy dolls because a middle-class neighborgirl got the white versions first and I didn't want the exact same thing since we played together. It was unusual, I suppose, since I lived in a small town that was 99% white. My mom would ask, "Are you sure you want the black doll?" She wasn't being racist. She just wanted to make sure I wasn't pressured by the neighborgirl into not getting the white one. If Asian, Hispanic, and Muslim barbies had been available, I would have asked for them, too.

My favorite movies were It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Tora Tora Tora, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Herbie the Lovebug, and Star Wars.

Oh, and one more thing - I envy you for having come of age in the turbulent, exciting period of the late 60s/early 70s. Tell us few stories, won't you? If you don't mind.

Replying to this one, I revealed the poverty of my youth -- too poor even to be misspent!

Sonagi, my family was rather poor, and we lived without a car in an isolated town lacking a cinema, so I didn't have a lot of toys or see a lot of movies.

But we had board games like Monopoly, which I did like. We played card games like "Spoons" -- get two cards alike, grab a spoon (5 brothers, 4 spoons, a bit like musical chairs).

We played a lot of sports and walked a lot for fun, or went fishing ... even hunting.

As we became teenagers, we began working at summer jobs of various sorts, and when I had enough money, I bout a bicycle. I also used to deliver Grit, a 'family' newspaper.

I've told some stories on my blog. Perhaps this would be a time to label them for ease in finding.

Then, noticing my typo, I added with chagrin and a grin:

Sonagi, that should have read "I bought a bicycle," not "I bout a bicycle."

I certainly didn't fight one, as a "bout" might suggest.

I guess that I'm getting senile already . . . now that I'm old.

Sonagi replied to this story of my gritty childhood:

"I also used to deliver Grit, a 'family' newspaper."

Now there's name I haven't heard in a long time.

You may have been poor in money but rich in imagination and wide open spaces to play. I feel sorry for kids glued to their Playstations and Gameboys.

BTW, most of my favorite movies I watched not in a theater but on television. I wasn't born yet when many of those movies were made.

My mind still down in the grit, I replied:

Sonagi, I did watch a lot of late-night movies on television with my four brothers when we were supposed to be sleeping on the sofa bed ... conveniently and therefore temptingly close to the television.

I recall seeing a lot of WWII movies...

By the way, I think that Grit is still in business.

Sonagi, noting a lacuna in my reminiscences, then inquired about my intellectual upbringing:

Jeffery, You didn't mention reading books anywhere in your comments about having fun as a kid. Were you a reader? What/who were your favorite stories/authors?

My hand having been forced, I admitted:

Sonagi, I read every book for children and teenagers in the local library, including those old romance books meant for teenage girls.

There wasn't much great literature in that library, but at home, I did find a copy of my Uncle Harlan's college literature anthology, and I can still recall reading Coleridge's Rime of the Ancient Mariner, which I loved immediately.

I also read some stories by Poe, maybe Dickens's Christmas Carol, and a lot of Shakespeare and selections from other great English literature in my high school English courses.

I even recall reading Philip Roth's early short story "The Conversion of the Jews" in my high school English class.

But I didn't really discover literature until I went off to university, where I encountered Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Turgenev, Chekov, and eventually Bulgakov, among other Russian greats. Those were writers who opened my eyes.

Thus went our dialogue, which perhaps deserves this blog entry -- or maybe not -- but possibly you agree if you got this far...

Finally, something that will satisfy all of Sonagi's curiosity, an old Gene Autry song whose lyrics reveal all about me and which I've been searching for over the years and finally found here, courtesy of a 'guest' at the Mudcat Café:

That's How I Got My Start

When I grew up to be a man, I said I'd work no more,
But dad took me by the pants and kicked me out the door.
It's not because I'm lucky; it's not because I'm smart.
My old man said, "Get out, you bum!" That's how I got my start.

One time I did try working. My wages they were fair.
On payday, I got tipsy, then I got the air.
It's not because I'm lucky; it's not because I'm smart.
I drink a lot of moonshine; that's how I got my start.

I had a wife that loved me, and I loved her, you know.
She caught me with another gal, then I had to go.
It's not because I'm lucky; it's not because I'm smart.
I run around with other gals. That's how I got my start.

Last night I had a nice little gal. we had lots of fun,
But when we met her husband, he put me on the run.
It's not because I'm lucky; it's not because I'm smart,
But when he started shootin', that's when I got my start.

I've been all around the country; been most every place,
And all the lousy cops have given me a chase.
It's not because I'm lucky; it's not because I'm smart.
I do the best I can do. That's how I got my start.

I think that I've now covered all bases and also demonstrated why I'm a man of questionable character...