Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A Genuine Simulation . . . or Artificial Art?

Photo by Glasstire

When I was thirteen years old and in the eighth grade, my science teacher, Mr. Coy Ferguson, warned us students about the sort of tricks developed to sell shoddy merchandise, and he gave an example of senior students buying class rings from a jewelry salesman who stoutly affirmed that the gemstone was "a genuine simulated diamond." The salesman emphasized "genuine" and mumbled "simulated."

Well, that ruse is still used, as Rainey Knudson shows in "How to Make a Painting in the 21st Century" (Glasstire, September 12, 2015), for if you look carefully at the image above - just click on it - you'll see these words:
This certificate hereby verifies the authenticity of the accompanying hand painted fine arts reproduction.
In short, the art purchased from 1st Art Gallery is an authentic reproduction, also known as a genuine simulation. What makes this gallery's art authentically genuine? Here's what:
Enclosed is your handmade oil painting reproduction. Please unwrap it slowly and carefully. Because it can take up to 6 months for the paint to fully dry, do not be alarmed if some of it has been attached to the protective plastic cover sheet as this is completely normal. Please keep in mind that this painting was custom made for you by a real artist who painted it for at least ten days.
Don't be concerned if some of the paint "has been attached" to the plastic cover? The passive voice here - which I've put into quotation marks - implies that somebody intentionally attached paint to the plastic! This is normal? If so, I can only infer that it's part of the product's 'authenticity.' Most important, however, is "that this painting was custom made for you by a real artist who painted it for at least ten days." Ten days, eh? Nine just wouldn't be good enough. No 'real artist' at 1st Art Gallery is going to set any production records, but true art can't be rushed.

If you're interested in the artwork produced for Glasstire by 1st Art Gallery, just click here, and scroll down. Or go directly here.

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At 1:56 PM, Blogger Kevin Kim said...

This sounds like the time to be quoting a little Baudrillard.

At 2:58 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Oh, was he little?

Jeffery Hodges

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At 3:02 PM, Blogger Kevin Kim said...

I tend to think of him and his fellow postmodernists and poststructuralists as mental midgets, so perhaps, in a sense, he was little.

At 3:06 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

And growing littler even as we speak . . .

Jeffery Hodges

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At 8:26 PM, Blogger Kevin Kim said...

I assume that's a reference to decomposition and not to... deconstruction.

At 8:48 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Such such is life.

Jeffery Hodges

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