Follies of My Youth . . .

One of the many follies of my youth was my membership in an anti-fraternity known as the NoZe Brotherhood. We did satirical things to needle our alma mater, Baylor University. My pseudonym was Brother AgNoZetic, so I was, naturally, Keeper of the NoZe Prayer, a petition to Elmo, the lighting god, which went like this, the parentheses indicating the congregants repetition of my words (repeat):

Compensate Elmo,

(Compensate Elmo,)

Hope wake I,

(Hope wake I)

Before die I,

(Before die I,)

If keep to NoZe My Elmo to pray I,

(If keep to NoZe My Elmo to pray I,)

Sleep to down me lay I now. 

(Sleep to down me lay I now.)

Achoo!

I prefaced the prayer with the words, "Every head bowed, every eye closed," a ritualistic expression that preceded nearly every prayer I ever heard in a Baptist context. I also developed the extended sneeze at the close of the prayer, accompanied by the famous Baylor Bear Claw, which came crashing down at the very end of the sneeze. And if Elmo disappoints you, then just recite in reverse.

We were a tempest in a pink teapot, a Fillmore Know-Nothing party of picaresque antiheroes who wore Groucho Marx noses and made mischief in the land.

A long time ago . . .