Monday, January 04, 2016

So . . . who is this Chivers fellow, anyway?

There is little known about Michael G. Chivers, though we surmise that he belongs to the Western family known as Chives:

Chives
Wikipedia

According to Wikipedia, Chives have insect-repelling properties, which might extend toward repelling other pests. Shoggaths, for example. Or fanatical members of the Revolutionary Communist Party (RCP)!

But this is sheer speculation, so let us leave these airy regions and turn to the fellow's own vacuum-packed self-identification, which can be found on page 566 of Emanations: 2+ 2 = 5. Ah, here it is:
Michael G. Chivers is lives on the South Coast of England and collects fridge magnets.
Eh . . . "is lives"? What the feck does that mean? Something must be missing. Perhaps Chivers had actually written:
Michael G. Chivers is a member in good standing of the RCP who lives on the South Coast of England and collects fridge magnets.
Now that would make more sense. Except for the RCP detail. That is disappointing. I had thought that beneath him. How could you, Chivers?

But I still didn't know much about the man until I conducted some rather arduous research - I reached over to my book shelf, pulled out Emanations: Second Sight, and checked page 370 - and from these hard-won research results, I uncovered an entire sheet of information about the man. Except that I suspect all of the information there to be fraudulent. False. Fake. Untrue. Incorrect. Etc.

Let's see if that "unpatriotic rotten doctor commie rat" will have the audacity to show his traffic-cone-topped face on this blog of mine anymore.

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7 Comments:

At 1:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

CPH here--quick update, "well in came his daughter whose name was Rita--she looked like she stepped outta "La Dolce Vita"!

 
At 1:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh jeez I can't quit now; from hopefully-accurate memory; "I merely tried to cool it with her dad, and told him what a nice pretty farm he had. He asked me 'whatta doctors know about farming, pray-tell?'; I told him I was born at the bottom of a wishin' well!"

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger Mikey_C said...

I see you have been taken in by the false trace of redaction that was cunningly placed to misdirect and confound those who would pierce the inner veil of ye ancient mysteries of Chiverdom.

It suffices to say that I am a direct descendant of that noble knight Guillaume Le Chievre who fought beside William the Bastard at the Battle of Hastings and helped to civilise the English barbarians.

Despite the rumours that are being maliciously-spread, I am not a member of any political party or flying saucer cult and do not own an orgone box. The information supplied about my hobby is however entirely correct.

 
At 6:34 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

CPH, not word-for-word perfect . . . but close enough for such a counter-cultural hand grenade or horseshoe.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 7:02 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Speaking of horses, a salute to Chivers for setting the record straight - he's a direct descendant of William the Horse . . . and thus an entirely respectable figure from a prominent British family that has been horsing around the English countryside since 1066 and all that.

The link to refrigerator magnets, however, doesn't entirely settle my nerves - I recognize that cultural icon on those magnets: Bob Dylan!

Just kidding. It's Leon Trotsky - that unpatriotic rotten doctor commie rat!

Now, why would Chivers be making an obscure reference to Trotsky?

Jeffery Hodges

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At 7:29 AM, Blogger Mikey_C said...

William the Goat please, if you absolutely must...

 
At 7:56 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Oh . . . I thought we were talking about chivalry. Sorry about that - I need to brush up on my etymology.

But what can one expect from an old son of a spear-thrower like me?

Jeffery Hodges

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