Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Obscure Relative Post?

In one of her last messages to all of us relatives, Aunt Kathryn urged us to "have a party!" at her memorial service. I couldn't attend, so I didn't get to participate in any sort of joyful wake, but in the spirit of her wish, I'm posting a sequence of photos with running comments by Uncle Cran -- framed by my concise, incisive, illuminating remarks, as always. Here's the first photograph:

Uncle Cran introduces us to the folks in the picture, albeit not in any helpful order, and the question mark suggests uncertainty about the names of these people. But he was especially puzzled by the presence of that bearded chap, whom he did not recognize at all:
I will send photos from sister Kathryn's memorial service at the cemetery last Saturday. This is Gay & I, then Kevin, Leah & grandsons Zachary & Haden? But who is the mysterious stranger with us? A Jewish Rabbi? Perhaps a Mullah?
Uncle Cran is about to find out, little by little. Here's the next piece of the puzzle:

Uncle Cran remarks, perhaps with trepidation:
Linda Gay has persuaded this mysterious person into our home, and with grandson Haden as a witness, she is ready to work her magic.
Magic? Aunt Linda Gay works magic? What is she, a witch? Well, let's see what happens in the next photograph:

Uncle Cran comments on the spell woven by his wife:
As Linda Gay waves her magic wand, the face looks kind of familiar. However, since he is now wearing a frown, I start to worry. Perhaps I should check his back back.
A magic wand, eh? Well, that's a switch! But a switch can double as a wand. My grandma had a switch that would work wonders with us grandchildren when we were little! Incidentally, I'm not sure what a "back back" is . . . perhaps the "front"? As for that 'wand', frankly speaking, it calls to mind Arthur C. Clarke's statement that "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." While we cogitate that, let's also consider the next photograph:

Uncle Cran grows relieved, despite reason for some misgivings:
As more hair is removed, notice the resemblance to Attila the Hun. But the smile has returned, so I am no longer apprehensive.
I was thinking more Genghis Kahn, but in either case, is the smile of such a man trustworthy? Didn't the great Kahn state:
"Man's greatest joy is to slay his enemy, plunder his riches, ride his steeds, see the tears of his loved ones and embrace his women."
Not that there's anything wrong with that, and Attila the Hun probably said something similar. But let's move on to see the next photograph:

Uncle Cran finally figures out the mystery. The chap is neither Genghis Kahn nor Attila the Hun, and I'm not disappointed about that, for what business would either of those two have in the Ozarks? The chap is also not quite so obscure as Uncle Cran had implied:
Linda Gay has worked her magic! Now we know! It's grandson Matthew, Mark's oldest son. IT'S A MIRACLE! He is staying with us this week, then to Kevin's for a week, before returning home.
That's reassuring . . . but note that Uncle Cran has conflated "magic" with "miracle"! That sort of category error would make Jesus into a magician! Uncle Cran therefore still has something to worry about, such as a miraculous (not magical!) bolt from the blue.

Good luck, Uncle Cran. Perhaps Aunt Linda Gay can weave a protective spell?

Labels: ,


At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God has promised to forgive my transgressions, even a typing error such as "back back" instead of "back pack." if I confess them.
Which is more than a certain professor I know will do.


At 11:54 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

No problem, Uncle Cran. I'll also confess your transgressions.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *


Post a Comment

<< Home