Sunday, October 16, 2005

Things Go Badder With Choke-a Cola

My head is an old jingles jukebox.

Does anyone else recall that Coca-Cola jingle sung by The Kingston Trio, "Things go better with Coca-Cola"?

Coca Cola Coca Cola
Things Go Better With Coca Cola
Things Go Better With Coke!
Life Is Much More Fun
When You're Refreshed
And Coke Refreshes You Best
It's The Refresh-ing-ness.
Food Goes Better With
Fun Goes Better With
You Go Better With Coke
The Real Life One
Puts Extra Fun
In You And Everything You Do
So Things Go Better With Coca Cola.
Things Go Better With Coke!

Well, I like the tune, but Coke always made me choke as a kid, and since it rots your teeth, causes kidney stones, and spawned that Dr Pepper ripoff, Mr. Pibb, I've come up with a parody that I sing to my kids to deter them from drinking the stuff:

Choke-a Cola

Choke-a Cola, Choke-a Cola
Things Go Badder With Choke-a Cola
Things Go Badder With Choke!
Life is Much More Pun
When You're Repressed
And Choke Represses You Best
It's The Repress-ing-ness.
Food Goes Badder With
Fun Goes Badder With
You Go Badder With Choke
The Real Life One
Puts Extra Pun
In You And Everything You Do
So Things Go Badder With Choke-a Cola.
Things Go Badder With Choke!

My kids love this jingle parody . . . but it seems to be turning them toward, not away from Coke.

Things really are going 'badder' . . .

8 Comments:

At 6:00 AM, Blogger Sunny said...

Since it causes kidney stones maybe things actually go "bladder" with coke. There is a RUMOR that Seoul Cola has no caffeine (haven't actually checked the ingredients). If so, that might be safer for the kiddies. Although personally, I'd try to keep them away from anything with high fructose corn syrup. That stuff is evil.

 
At 6:28 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Nice pun on "badder" and "bladder."

I don't know about Seoul Cola lacking caffeine, but Korean coffee usually lacks it . . . though to be fair, that's changing under the influence of Starbucks.

 
At 9:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a kid, I loved bottled Dr. Pepper - but dreaded the inevitable through-the-nose burps it would give me. Burned like hell. Some bottled sodas (Cheerwine) actually use cane sugar; whereas, the canned version uses HF corn syrup. I think an ice-cold 6oz bottled Coke is (was) the best.
Greg

 
At 10:12 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

As an adult, I went through a phase drinking Coca-Cola, but I've recovered from that youthful folly.

Why, just today, I drank a Dr. Pepper at the church picnic, choosing to decline the proffered cola.

My daughter, however, drank a Coke despite my warning jingle . . .

 
At 11:11 PM, Blogger Evenstar said...

Um, Just so you know, Coke owns Dr. Pepper it is one of their products. I had to write a report on the company a while back.

 
At 4:15 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Thanks, Evenstar. That's trouble with old loyalties to products like Dr. Pepper. They object of our devotion goes over to the enemy. Sigh...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 9:10 PM, Blogger Francesca said...

Professor,
from your pneumonia I somehow ended up reading this witty and wonderful jingle about choke-a cola! aha
I didnt actually know this TV spot so I went over youtube and listened to it. Your version is much better and now I can't get it out of my head.
I'll be reading more of your poems!~
p.s. I saw some TOURISTS today on our campus, luckily they were not theorists (kk)

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Glad you liked the 'poem' - I suspect, though, that other would-be poets have also toyed with variants of the same Coca-Cola jingle.

Jeffery Hodges

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