Possessed by...
. . . the demon bean.Remember those famous before-and-after photos showing the effects of LSD on the web-spinning skills of spiders?
Well, caffeine has a similar effect, as these upper and lower images demonstrate. Contrast the normal web in the upper photo with the highly irregular web spun by a spider suffering caffeinism.
Indeed, caffeine's deleterious effect on webspinning even exceeds that of LSD and other drugs.
If the young Korean lady at Saturday's conference had only known of these scientific findings, she could have rejected my plea for stronger coffee by citing health reasons to support Koreans' consumption of weak coffee.
Had I, nevertheless, insisted on my right to strong coffee, she could have labeled me a "bean fiend" and sent me to The Caffeine Web for help in kicking the coffee habit.
None of this would sway me, for I'm already too highly caffeinated -- toxic even -- and amble about mumble-humming my "Java Jive" theme song:
I love java sweet and hot
Whoops Mr. Moto I'm a coffee pot (yeah)
Shoot me the pot and I'll pour me a shot
A cup, a cup, a cup (yeah)
Yeah . . .
posted by Horace Jeffery Hodges @ 3:49 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
On the basis of this disturbing information from National Geographic, I conclude that I'd better not ever stop drinking coffee.
Sperwer -- all kidding aside, I've often gone without coffee and never had a headache or felt any ill effects. I probably am one of those lucky people who enjoy coffee without the side-effects.
But from now on, I'll pay closer attention to coffee's effect on my system, just in case.
Nathan, I received your two emails and have replied, so check your email.
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