Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Harry Bother and a Goblet of Beer...

Herwhiney Granger
The real thing...
(Image from Wikipedia)

The other night, I was putting eight-year-old En-Uk to bed, and rather than tell stories to each other -- which we usually do -- we made up new names for a few of the Harry Potter characters.

I started off with "Harry Butter" -- which, I admit, is rather lame, but if you dwell on it long enough, it becomes disgusting, which always proves terribly entertaining for little boys.

We decided, however, on "Harry Bother" instead.

Next came "Herwhiney Granger." Then "Runt Queasily." After that, "Allbutt Bumbledork" (a favorite of mine).

And En-Uk's brilliant contribution: "Draco Mouthboy!"

To which, I retorted, "Lord Oldwart." I also suggested "Lord Worrywort," but En-Uk panned that one. I don't know why...

And let's not forget the minor character "Prissy Weasley." I suppose that this one should actually be "Prissy Queasily."

Please add more, to be judged accordingly ... but keep them G-Rated so that I can entertain En-Uk with your contributions.

And while we wait for those entries ... let's have a beer, courtesy of John Dubya von EBeerSnob.Com, who has responded both to my recent promotion of his website on my blog and to my email notifying him about my generous plugging of his worthy endeavor (along with my 'services rendered' bill for the unsolicited advertisement) by posting the following remarks in this week's email, The Official Size & Weight EBeer ENews Email, Number 16, under a subheading sporting an entirely anomalous question mark, "International Recognition?":
Sixteen weeks into our project, and we’ve made it around to the other side of the planet. This week I received an email from South Korea. Professor Jeff has a blog, and in the same, featured my adventures at St. Andrews in NY. Check this out. In his email he writes:
I'm a childhood friend of Bruce Cochran, who clued me in to your email service promoting good beers.

I live in a part of the world -- let's call it " South Korea " -- where one doesn't come by good beers cheaply, but I do enjoy the virtual beers that you have on tap. Your descriptions are so precise and compelling that I can virtually quench my thirst, a thirst that the precisely described beers themselves tend to stimulate.

Your St. Andrews visits inspired me to post a blog entry, and I block quote rather extensively from your email (and hope that you don't mind):

Another good thing from Arkansas...

Anyway, I raise, in your honor, a glass ... but just a Budweiser, unfortunately -- the American one, I mean -- because I can't get the good beers in the local supermarkets, and the Korean beers are even more dismal ... sigh.

But I can dream, and your weekly emails provide the sustenance of my dreams...
I also note that Professor Jeff uncovered one of the hidden mysteries of our project. I do hope he got a big laugh out of it. Hang in there Dr. Jeff, may there be good beers on the horizon.
That horizen is so very far away ... but I can hope! Meanwhile, I'll reach for another Bud. You should too. After all, it makes you smart. You doubt? Oh, ye skeptic of little faith and even less spirit! That eponymous beer made Bud Wiser! Keep drinking the vile but potent stuff, and you will find yourself intellectually empowered to puzzle out "one of the hidden mysteries" of the sacred EBeer project...

Oops, nearly forgot. John Dubya, please send your check for 'services rendered' to my university address. And no whining, or you'll end up like Hermione...

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At 8:54 AM, Blogger Dr. Richard Scott Nokes said...

How about "Charlie Bucket?"

At 9:14 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Scott, I can't quite place the original character. Which character's name is this a pun on?

Jeffery Hodges

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At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What beers do you consider good beers? While it's true that the hole-in-the-wall supermarkets don't stock any imports, some of the larger marts do have limited selections. There is an E-Mart and a Homever (used to be Carrefour) near where I live, and a Lotte Mart slightly further away. I spread my beer buying between these places and usually can get what I want. There are some beers, though, that are hard to get.

I wonder if there is a central beer Mecca in Seoul somewhere...

And isn't Charlie Bucket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know me, I couldn't resist. Anyway it's pretty close to "G" given the contexts.


I guess it'd depend on whether one enjoyed reading while drinking. That's not yet illegal is it?

And typing the particular characters, on the verification thingy? Oh my!


At 9:35 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Charles, I agree that good beers can be found in Korea, but they're mainly imports and cost a bundle, which is what I meant in writing that "one doesn't come by good beers cheaply." Also, I'd have to go further than my local (i.e., easy walking distance) supermarkets to buy them.

I'll drink Korean beers if I have no real choice, and they'll quench my thirst as well as a Budweiser, but with a real choice...

Do you have to pay a lot for the good beers that you find?

As for "Charlie Bucket," my mind kept turning to Dahl's story, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I kept resisting. You're right, of course, so I guess that Scott was simply calling attention to humorous names in other children's books.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 9:38 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

JK, "Fumbledork" sounds perfectly "G" to me, but I lack a dirty mind.

Drinking while reading? So long as you're of age, no problem -- but if you're of age, why in hell are you reading kiddie books like the Rowling series?!

Jeffery Hodges

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At 10:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why Dr. Hodges,

It's apparent academics read them else why so much type. And JK, knowing he's deficient where academics are concerned, comes to sites like "Gypsy" to become beerter informed.


At 10:22 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

JK, I read them only for the pictures...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 10:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I needed to add, I wasn't thinking in "dirty" terms. It is only beer seems to lessen the ability to sight, as in "aim." In addition beer seems to elicit an urge to empty one's bladder.

Now the janitor maybe thinking, "that dirty sob!"


At 10:30 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

JK, I guess that the dirty mind that I lack made me imagine impure thoughts in your non-dirty mind.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 4:52 PM, Blogger Bohemian in Korea said...

Professor Severus Snape ---> Professor Cavernous Cape

Cedric Diggory ---> Cedric Died Gory

Rubeous Hagrid ---> (Female cousin) Rubenesque Hagridden

At 5:13 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Excellent, BoHink, excellent. Now, where are all the other expats, who are ordinarily so eager to voice their views?

Jeffery Hodges

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At 5:27 PM, Blogger Bohemian in Korea said...

Hehe, knee jerk opinion is easy. Following the rules (G rated) and creativity comes hard.

At 5:45 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Good point, and I'm happy not to have the Marmot's problem...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 3:20 AM, Blogger Kevin Kim said...

The idea is to make your son laugh, right? Here goes.

the brave Hairy Rocker

the evil Lord Bouldersnot

Hairy's mentor, Bulbous Rumblepore

Hairy's bookish lady friend, Thelioneats Strangers

Hairy's best mate, Yawn Easily (with the twins Bred and Gorge; older brothers Barfy, Kill, and Gnarly; not to mention the sister with whom Hairy falls in love, Sinning)

the lovable, droopy half-giant Sagribs (and his uncouth half-brother, Plawp)

Hairy's dentally challenged godfather, Serious Plaque

Hairy's rival at school, Play-Doh Malformed (with father Luscious and mother Nostrilla)

Hairy's parents, Maimed and Chilly

the unpleasant, grating Professor Scrape

strict Professor McDingledongle

House Tripindoors
House Huffinstuff
House Ravinblow
House Sniffitin

...all part of the Frogbarf School of Fartcraft and Misery


At 4:08 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Thanks, Kevin. I see you're up late enough to catch my being up early.

All entries are acceptable -- aside from "Fartcraft," which I've stricken from the record because I don't allow farts here (but it keeps resurfacing like a bubble!).

I especially like "Yawn Easily" and "Professor McDingledongle" and expect En-Uk will react with the same chuckle that I have chuckled. Maybe I should go wake him right now and share these...

Jeffery Hodges

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