Happy Boxing Day

Cynic that I am, I have long celebrated Boxing Day as feast day for that patron saint of boxers, Saint Pugnacious, but doggonit, I've been utterly wrong.

Although Saint Pugnacious, whose life is celebrated in one cycle of the Medieval mystery plays, was just as real as Saint Christopher, neither the former nor the latter were fully human, which perhaps excludes them from authentic sainthood.

Be that as it may, Boxing Day is not held in honor of the pugilistic Saint Pugnacious, as Fact Monster makes clear:

Despite its name, Boxing Day, which is celebrated on December 26 in Great Britain, has nothing to do with pugilistic competition.

In fact, Boxing Day has something to do with . . . boxes. Unfortunately, nobody quite knows what.

As one who thinks outside of the box, I suggest that since December 26th is elsewhere celebrated as Saint Stephen's Day, then Boxing Day must be a holiday invented by the Puritan regime during the English Civil War to 'box up' and hide yet another Catholic saint.

I say we let Stephen back out of his box. In honor of that first martyr, Saint Stephen, who died by stoning, I move that we rename Boxing Day.

Let's call it "Stoning Day."