Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Hairbrush Tines?

This morning, I was trying to increase my own fluency in English, something that I'm constantly working on despite having English as my native language.

I had been trying to post some nonsense in response to The Lost Nomad's "Girl Wednesday" photos and wanted to compare the model's stiff hair to "the bristles on a boar-bristle brush," a phrase that can twist your tongue into all sorts of tongue-twisting contortions.

But I didn't want to use "bristle" twice, and I began to wonder what to call those stiff . . . uh, bristles.

"Maybe 'tines'?" I mused.

So, I Googled "hairbrush tines." Up came two -- only two -- websites:
fem dom hypnosis... Female spanking male with hairbrush tines of his tongue cut out, so giggly and immature and I could her that time she was at the, isn't saving her it's just.

Open Forums of ExChristian.Net - Encouraging Ex-Christians... Keys and pens can be stabbed into places. So can hairbrush tines. Hairspray and perfume can be just as effective as mace and pepperspray.
I guess that I can be a bit obtuse, but I imagined that "fem dom hypnosis" had something to do with feminism and that I was seeing some lines of a poem, perhaps of a random, dadaist sort. I clicked and found myself caught in a "female domination" dungeon that I couldn't escape except by closing the browser. Serves me right, I suppose, for being careless, but the punishment of being trapped by dominant females in a "fem dom" dungeon must appeal to some men.

I opened a new browser and Googled "hairbrush tines" again. Of course, the same two items came up. This time, I avoided the former and . . . after some hesitation ("stabbed into places"?) . . . clicked on the latter. Fortunately, it didn't concern excessive sex by "ExChristians" but self-defense advice for ex-Christian women worried about being raped. Well . . . I suppose that one could classify this as "excessive sex."

So, what did I learn? That there are only three people in the world with enough imagination to call hairbrush bristles "tines" -- a sexual pervert, an infidel, and me.


At 10:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and Gypsy Jeff: I love your response to Girl Wednesday or Sunday or woteva! Gotta fit of giggles now! Pray wide-eyed for molelessness.

At 4:28 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

I usually respond with some nonsense to the Wednesday morning girl posted by The Lost Nomad. My usual response is to ignore the obvious in the photo and to focus on some minor or incidental point. So, I sometimes comment on the background or wonder why there are no captions to read or naively ask what point Nomad is trying to make.

It's all in good fun. I know the Nomad personally.

At 8:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


To be honest I'm sorry I ever started the Girl Wednesday thing. Although surfing the web in search of attractive females is enjoyable, I don't have the time for it.

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Yeah, it's a tough job, Nomad, but somebody's gotta do it. I'd suggest that you skimp on the nonessential stuff like political analysis. The only things that really need close attention are girls and fish . . . not necessarily in that order.


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