Islamist Sociologist Demonstrates Correct Wife-Beating Technique

Wild-Eyed Kindness!

On April 3, 2019, Special Dispatch No. 7983 reported on the 'Islamically' correct way to beat your wife, according to an expert:

On March 29, 2019, Qatari sociologist Abd Al-Aziz Al-Khazraj Al-Ansari . . . gave a demonstration and explanation about how to beat your wife in an Islamically permissible fashion. He said . . . that a man . . . must sometimes exercise his authority and discipline his wife "out of love." . . . Al-Ansari then demonstrated how to beat one's wife on Nayef – a little boy who might be his son – by slapping him on the shoulders, grabbing him and shaking him, and saying loudly: "I told you not to leave the house! How many times do I have to tell you?" Al-Ansari . . . explained that it is in some women's nature to like domineering, authoritative, violent, and powerful husbands.

There, that'll show 'em who's boss! And if that doesn't work, use a toothpick, or so I've heard said. But what if that also doesn't work? Then what? Bind several toothpicks together with dental floss and try again? And if that doesn't work? Maybe ratchet things up a notch or two by using toothbrushes?