Défense de Fumer

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Finally, a defense of smoking! All you frustrated smokers can now relax and have a smoke under the protection of this sign.

But why no smoking while driving? Especially if one is driving alone? Doesn't make sense to me. Lighting up while driving doesn't distract a driver much. Not so much as sneezing, for instance. By the logic of those opposed to smoking while driving, then, if you can't light up, you also should not be allowed to sneeze! Imagine the indignity imposed on all the old sneezers forced to squeeze their left earlobe so as to stifle an imminent sneeze! As if all that attention focused on one's left earlobe weren't far more distracting than the sneeze itself!

And if we can't sneeze, what else can't we do while driving? Cough? You mean we can't even do that anymore? What's the world coming to? Is it going to Hell in a handbasket? We probably won't be allowed to smoke in said basket despite our perditious destination.

Or will even Hell find smoking forbidden? But what's Hell without all that smoking? No more ante-chamber to an eternity of smoking! Just an anti-chamber, period.