Cousin Bill's Home-Cooked Meal -- It's a Blast!

Cousin Bill's Meal-In-A-Box

Cousin Bill recently lived the bachelor life while his wife Cheryl was briefly away, and he reports back on his great culinary success in fending for himself in a wifeless kitchen:

Cheryl bought one "easy fixer" for me, a "Marie Callender" beef pot pie, leaving me with specific written instructions on the necessary defrost . . . followed by the oven baking and how to use the oven. The instructions (preheat, oven time and temp) were promptly misplaced, so I decided on using the microwave, and if I'd done maybe one thing right, that might've worked. I didn't. I opened the door for a sneak peak at the four minute mark -- and dang, things were bubbling (boiling) . . . juices overflowing the plate . . . no problem, just a simple transfer to a bowl, right? I transferred, hit another one minute setting, and within thirty five seconds hear a minor explosion -- most of Ms Callender's finest was deposited on the microwave's ceiling and wall. Using a fork and several paper towels as scrapers I returned most of the fixings to the bowl and decided I'd better cease while ahead. The empty spot in the bowl got filled with cottage cheese and toast. Really, it wasn't bad, 'cept, the dough was pale and doughy, the meat and veggies a bit chewy, but all edible when wrapped inside the toast.

By putting this online, I hope I haven't given terrorists any new ideas on bomb-making. On the other hand, this bomb-plot boxed pot did go off prematurely . . . no seventy-two raisins for any Islamist terrorists following Cousin Bill's method!

Anyway, kudos for surviving! Now go seek out that missing wife, Billy-Boy!