A Crass Act . . .

Kick in the Butt
Obviously
Google Images

My new story's coming along slowly, given my sundry and manifold duties, but it's developing. In the scene that follows, the protagonist has just met a mixed Russian-Korean woman who shows him an advertisement that he'd inadvertently contributed to:

For a few moments, engaged with something on her smartphone, Agashka said nothing. I waited, assuming she had received a message, but she then pulled a tablet from her handbag, which I hadn't noticed on the chair beside her till now, and turned it on. With deft fingers, she typed some obscure code, and up came a website presenting a selection of videos. "Which do you want to see first, the ad for Crass or the ad for Hate?"

Astonished, I could manage only a single word: "What?"

"Since you're not choosey," she replied, "let's watch the Crass ad first." She then clicked on an icon labeled "Crass," and as the image expanded to screen size, a weary young Caucasian man appears in a craft beer bar ordering the house beer:

Young Man (obviously thirsty): I'll have a house beer.

Bartender (draws a pint): Here you go.

Young Man (sips, grimaces, complains): This stuff's not cold enough!

Bartender (condescending): This 'stuff' is a fine craft beer. You're supposed to taste it.

Young Man (annoyed): Hey, I don't care for taste when I've got a big thirst. I just want a refreshing kick in the ass!

(door bursts open, in charges Korean pop-music singer Psyched -- singing his world-famous "Gangland Style" with its characteristic lightning-fast punches and high kicks worthy of Carl Douglas in "Kung Fu Fighting" -- and kicks the young man hard in his buttocks, splashing craft beer into the bartender's face)

Psyched (handing a Crass to the young man): Try a kick in the ass! Try Crass!

Young Man (taking a huge gulp, cries out in delight): Now, that's a kick in the ass!

Psyched (laughing): That's Crass.

Agashka and I watched the screen fade to black. "Well?" she asked, clicking "escape" to restore the icons.

Initially speechless, I finally managed to locate my voice. "That's a horrible ad!"

"But it's popular," she said.

After that, things begin to get interesting . . . I hope.