Thursday, May 30, 2013

New from the North: Cerebration Invigorator, Moxibustion Appliance, and (Eternal) Toothpaste!

Flag of North Korea

We so rarely hear good things about North Korea, but thanks to the United States Forces Korea J2's Korea Open Source Digest (Volume VI, Issue 103, Saturday, 25 – Tuesday, 28 May 2013), I can today report on three recent advances in North Korean science that will surely work for the betterment of humankind. First, there's this article on a miracle drug:
Reun Capsule, New Cerebration Invigorator
Korean Central News Agency

Pyongyang - Among the exhibits at the 16th Pyongyang Spring International Trade Fair (May 13-16) was Reun capsule, a new kind of cerebration invigorator, presented by the Jongsong Trading Company. The capsule is made of physiological activators, such as lecithin extracted from bean, ginkgo leaf extract and various kinds of vitamins. It is efficacious for easing mental stress and helpful to curing amnesia, insomnia, aphasia, dizziness and hand and foot aching. It is also good for fatty liver and liver cirrhosis. With no side effect, the capsule was granted with the DPRK patent right in September 2012.
Definitely wonderful, a medicinal breakthrough! And the fact that the granting of the patent right has had no side effect is certainly something to cerebrate! Second -- to my great astonishment -- is yet another miracle of advancement in health:
New Moxibustion Appliance Developed
Korean Central News Agency

Pyongyang - The Academy of Koryo Medicine of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has developed a new kind of moxibustion appliance. The appliance is made with mixed powders of wormwood, rare earth mineral and Kumgang medicinal stone, which emit heat, electronic radiation and far infrared rays, when burnt. The compound rays help improve circulation of blood, activate metabolism and enhance immunity in human body. This portable appliance can adjust its operational temperature and time to suit the diseases. It is efficacious for bronchial asthma, hypertension, hypotension, cardiac neurosis, stomach and duodenal ulcer, etc. Sliced ginger and garlic are usually put on the spots of acupuncture to get a better effectiveness of the appliance. Paek Kum Sang, a researcher of the Academy, told KCNA that the new appliance gives desirable effect to the regions of acupuncture more quickly than the existing ones.
Quite another breakthrough with this magical medicine! Readers suffering from neurotic hearts can be gladdened at the news. Also useful, though not explicitly specified, is the strengthening of the female bust, or so the term "moxibustion" apparently implies. Too bad the appliance can be used just once, since it seems to work only "when burnt." Third comes still again an advance in health science:
New Kind of Toothpaste, One of Attractions At Int'l Trade Fair
Korean Central News Agency

Pyongyang - The Korean Sangwon Trading Company presented a new kind of toothpaste at the 16th Pyongyang Spring International Trade Fair held some days ago. In this regard, KCNA met Kim Yon Hui, an official of the company. She said: The chestnut-color toothpaste is made of various species of medical plants indigenous to Korea, including liquorice and dandelion. Effective for five years, it is efficacious for killing dental bacteria. It washes away toothscum and removes tartar in 15 to 20 days from the beginning of use. It is believed to be good especially for children. The toothpaste was granted with the DPRK patent right.
Effective for five years! Terrific toothpaste! Don't talk to me about breakthroughs! Brush once, and you're good for half a decade! Such toothpaste can be passed down in one's family for generations to come. Though I am left a bit leery by the remark that it's only "believed to be good" . . .

But enough blogging for the day -- there's already too much good news!

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At 6:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well. You beat me to the 'neurotic heart' joke - but actually I was really only interested in Korean botanicals.

Does the DPRK have a website up for international customers?

I'd like a bottle of that there "liquorice" - a big bottle.


At 7:17 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

One liquorice juche, coming up! (I think that means fortified rice liquor . . .)

Jeffery Hodges

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At 8:44 AM, Blogger Carter Kaplan said...

Jeffery, such bitter humor! Really, your sarcasm is transparent! It's obvious that you are frustrated because you don't live in the North!

At 9:06 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Yes, doubtless, I would speak very differently, were I to reside in that paradise . . .

Jeffery Hodges

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