Friday, August 06, 2010

Milton's "eating Death" made less awkward?

Vanitas, 1671
Philippe de Champaigne
(Image from Wikipedia)

Since yesterday, I've been playing around with line 792 of John Milton's Paradise Lost, Book 9: "And knew not eating Death." Here it is in its original context:
Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
And knew not eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began. (PL 9.791-4)

(Thomas H. Luxon, ed. The Milton Reading Room, August, 2010.)
Here are my trial revisions, six attempts at a less awkward line 792:
Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
Knew not of eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began.

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
Knew not her eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began.

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
Not knew of eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began.

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
Not knew her eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began.

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
Nor knew of eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began.

Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
Nor knew her eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began.
Are these all less awkward than Milton's original? Maybe. But the first two of these still seem somewhat awkward to me, possibly because the iambic rhythm is disturbed by having line 792 begin with a stressed syllable -- and a conjunction seems called for. The middle two also give the sense of missing a conjunction in that same line, and thereby tend to stress the first syllable, again disturbing the iambic. The final two work better rhythmically, but the word "her" in line 792 of the last revision now seems awkward to me, possibly because the personified "Death" lurking in this line cannot belong to "her," so I think that the penultimate revision works best:
Greedily she ingorg'd without restraint,
Nor knew of eating Death: Satiate at length,
And hight'nd as with Wine, jocond and boon,
Thus to her self she pleasingly began.
This seems to me less awkward to me than Milton's original; in fact, it's not awkward at all. It has a conjunction, "Nor," that also expresses the required negative, it has a preposition, "of," that seems to reduce the so-called 'syntactical' problem, and it seems to preserve the original's double meaning in "eating death." Why wouldn't Milton use this alternative line, particularly since a poet of his skill and intelligence would surely have run through several possibilities for line 792, this being an obvious possibility?

Conclusion: He must have preferred his awkward line.

But why? Why would he prefer awkwardness, an awkwardness concentrated on "eating death," which disturbs the line?

Suggestion: To echo the entrance of Death into a previously perfect world, for death is disturbing.

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4 Comments:

At 3:41 AM, Blogger Kevin Kim said...

972 or 792? I sometimes confuse apartment numbers this way.


Kevin

 
At 3:50 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Should be 792. Did I make this error? I'll check and correct.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 4:39 PM, Blogger Charles Montgomery said...

I should think eating death would be awkward in any case...

particularly in some uses of the word "eat."

What would one wear, what would one say?

 
At 2:39 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

And what silverware should one use?

Jeffery Hodges

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