Sunday, June 13, 2010

I may be a little old . . .


. . . "but I'm doin' all right." And I've got proof! Just take a gander at this Russian beauty, 'E-katerina'. Quite a looker, eh? She contacted me yesterday:
Hello, stranger!
Isn't that something?! She knows my nickname! And she got right to the point:
How are you? I saw your profile on site and I got interested.
Of course she got interested! One look at a fellow like me juggling my three balls would catch the attention of a sharp-eyed looker like 'E-katerina' any day! But there's more:
If you are interested in me too write to me on my e-mail: ekaterina-trofimenko10(at)
Rambler. Nice touch. 'E-katerina' is obviously punning on my middle name and the name of the automobile company that first manufactured the "Rambler."

But then comes a slightly puzzling remark:
And I will surely answer to you.
I don't get it. Why would she answer to "You" if her name is 'E-katerina'? Shouldn't she answer to "E-katerina" instead? Maybe it's a Russian thing?

I send you one of my photos.
Thanks, but you already did.
My name is Ekaterina, I am 29, I live in Russia, in the city of Omsk.
You forgot the coordinating conjunction, but let's not cavil about such a trivial peccadillo when far greater peccadillos await us. No, let's obsess on Omsk. The very word sounds like something that 'E-katerina' and I might ardently whisper into one another's ears:

"Omsk yes! Omsk!"

"Omsk my god!"

"Omsk! Omsk! Omsk!"
Yeah, I know. Love always seems ridiculous to those not caught up in its glorious affliction.

Now, you might think 'E-katerina' just another gold-digger, but you'd be wrong:
I have a job.
See. I told you. And she's smart, too:
I am intellectual, sociable and gay.
Wha-a-a-a-a-at? She's not being straight with me? Not sure how to take that. But I reckon my masculine charm simply bursts through all barriers.
I want to find a generous and caring man, to whom I will give all my caress and will take care of him. I hope you are the one that I was looking for for so long.
Baby, I'm your man! I'll be happy to take your entire caress. I'm assuming that this unique caress is of the rambling sort . . .
Write to me and tell me more about you!
Not only will I reply, but I'll do so "on site"! You can read my words right now!
Take care. Ekaterina.
I am taking care, 'E-katerina', great care indeed. Meanwhile, you take care yourself. Try to avoid that orange smog. It's already devoured your right arm, in case you hadn't noticed. Normally, the person who's just lost an arm would realize that painful fact, but you're so concentrated on me that you seem not to have noticed. Are other body parts also missing?

Oh, and I just remembered one little thing . . . I'm married. Happily. To a real woman. Sorry to disappoint you, 'E-katerina', but you'll get over me.

Doubtless, you've already heard from others anyway, perhaps even from would-be lovers who've just read this blog post . . .



At 7:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

off-topic: I assume your family live nowhere near the flash floods since you haven't blogged about it.

At 7:25 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Right. That tragedy occurred in the Ouachita Mountains of southern Arkansas, or so I read yesterday.

A friend of mine had almost gone camping there with a friend of his who works for the forestry service, and as they were discussing the possibility, the forest ranger got a call to help rescue victims.

No camping that day for my friend . . .

Jeffery Hodges

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At 11:13 AM, Anonymous Brendon Carr said...

I would like to ask you, sir, to kindly refrain from further correspondence with my fiancee!

At 3:58 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

And I ask you, sir, does your wife know of your impending bigamy?

Jeffery Hodges

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At 6:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The word "gay" was once a common word for someone who was happy, carefree, joyous, etc.
Songs of previous generations used it frequently in that context.
Maybe in Russia the word still has that connotation.
My wife, Linda Gay, was always known by her middle name. Early in my ministry as a Baptist preacher, another preacher told us we should stop using that name.
So for the first half of our fifty years together, I was married to Gay, and the second half I now live with Linda Gay. Our relationship remains the same.


At 6:53 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Uncle Cran, I strongly suspect that Ms. E-katerina is utterly carefree and thus 'gay' in that old sense . . . though I do wonder if actual properties can be possessed by imaginary entities.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 8:26 AM, Blogger amba said...


Hello Jeffery!


At 8:35 AM, Blogger Bill said...


Wealth, a handsome mug (no thanks necessary) and poetry are enticing to the ladies, as the Russian Venus de Milo let you know.

Reminds me of guy I know. Always a little unsuccessful with the lady folk, and desperate, he did the Russian bride thing…lots of correspondence, two trips over to woo, wine and dine…and following the usual hurdles, brought her to the Land of Oz (Ahs he hoped) and married. His “Ekaterina”, with limbs, remained draped before and during the very brief marriage. Long story short, all he gained was loss…about two year’s salary in getting and getting rid of her.

Last I heard, she continues to reside in the USA, and is enjoying NYC on the proceeds.

Cousin Bill

At 8:48 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Hi, Amba. Good to hear from you again, and I hope that all is well.

I'm glad to have occasioned a laugh.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 8:50 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Cousin Bill, your friend had the unfortunate luck of encountering a real-live 'Ekaterina' -- rather than the merely electronic sort.

Jeffery Hodges

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At 4:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

E-katerina or Ekaterina it's good to stop making jokes of the contacts and instead work to get rid of these SCAMMERS. The women are indeed beautiful and know how to hook a male up but I've come across a lot of information with investigation. Here's what she gave today.
"My darling you can send money through the western union?
Here my information for this purpose: the Country Russia, the
City of Omsk, the postal index 644099, street Cheljuskintsev 101-40,
my full name Trofimenko Ekaterina Olegovna." confidential number MTCN and the sum
which you have sent. I very strongly love you and very much I wish to be with you.

Where can I report this SCAM Lady and submit her many pictures?

At 5:38 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Anonymous, I disagree that we need not ridicule such spam-scam emails. Anything that draws attention to the ridiculous nature these fraudulent offers will be useful.

As for reporting the scammers, why are you asking a blogger for help with that? Wouldn't the police be a better place to start?

Jeffery Hodges

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