Monday, May 05, 2008

"Blood is thicker than water"

But water can be pretty thick, too . . .
. . . then all the more so with blood!
(Thick Water Image from Wikipedia)

As readers will know from recent blog posts, I am trying to drum up a little financial support from my fellow human beings to help me care for my family. In return, I guarantee that the givers will receive "the moral satisfaction of contributing to the happiness of a fellow human being."

Astoundingly, one of my own kin, my Uncle Cranford, has implied that I am acting upon selfish motives -- and seems to be trying to redirect readers toward contributing funds to his own bank account:
I am actually interested in the promotion of happiness in two, (not one) human beings . . . . (1) my wife, Linda Gay, and (2) myself. That is much better than the selfish notion of "another human being."
Well, I'm not about to let Uncle Cranford hijack my efforts to support my own family, especially not when he himself lives in paradise (if you ignore the occasional tornado) and has no need of support (aside from the occasional rebuilding).

I think that every honest reader can easily see where a "selfish notion" is truly to be found, but just in case I need to justify myself with anyone on moral grounds, let me post the defense that I composed as response my Uncle Cran, who -- despite being a Baptist minister -- needed a little reminder of what the Bible has to say on this issue:
Sorry, Uncle Cran, but biblically speaking, you and your wife count as just ONE:

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh." (Genesis 2:24)

By contrast, I am speaking of THREE -- due to my marriage union and my two "starving children."

Furthermore, I think that others have the duty to support me as they support themselves, for that surely follows from the command in Leviticus 19:18: "thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

Not to mention the duty that requires you, my uncle, to support me and my family, for "blood is thicker than water." That's a biblical reminder that kinship trumps baptism. I can't seem to locate this prooftext at the moment, but its point is that "whatsoever a man oweth to a neighbor, that doth he also owe to his kin, and even more so, yea, verily, even unto 70 times 7."

In short: pay up.
I think that by now, I have clarified where the real selfishness lies, and I rest my case.

Meanwhile, the old Ozark friend who has promised to send money (if I first send her some) has finally replied to my most recent email soliciting funds from her, and though she hasn't yet come through with the promised money, she has shown her generous spirit through advising me on how to enhance my money-raising efforts by reaching out to more people:
I would suggest that you "cast your bread" on many waters. In other words I think you need a plan b, c, d, and e. There is a You Tube where someone named Justine talks about her phone bill. She was invited to appear on many talk shows and has become quite rich . . . [in] a short time. You Tube is a place to market any talent you may or may not have and get 15 minutes of fame.

Another is to exploit your children's talents, cuteness, etc.

I really don't think you should include the four letter word that I use, W*RK.
Yes, Gypsy Scholar is a family-oriented blog, so I'll definitely avoid that four-letter word. Speaking of which, I've just now watched Justine's You Tube video, and I have have to say that making such a professional video as Justine's looks a lot like W*RK to me. So, that's out.

I guess that I'll just have to continue my funding appeal via blog...



At 7:08 AM, Blogger jeanie oliver said...

Okay, Prof,
don't you need to ask for 3 times as much as you were going to because the US dollar will buy diddly squat, right! Be sure you figure in this exchange rate problem when you tally your needs.

At 7:15 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

I think of this as an investment.

The dollar will surely rise again in value as China begins to pay the costs of environmental degredation, Russia begins to lose power because of its declining population, the EU begins to grow less competitive due to ineffective assimilation of its large immigrant population, and so on...

I need merely hold onto those dollars.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 9:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your uncle is wrong: Wanting to provide for your family is not selfish. But if your uncle refuses to send money, THAT is selfish. If I decline, it's good stewardship and prudence.

I think.

How much do you need?
(Answer me offline)

At 9:59 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Michael, I knew that I could persuade some kind soul.

I'd gladly contact you offline to inform you of my needs, which are considerable, but there's that internet-postage charge that I've only recently learned of, so if you could just send all the money in your bank account, I will keep what I need and send the rest back to you, minus the amount charged for internet postage, which is rumored to be rather high.

Plus the duty imposed as email crosses international borders...

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 10:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, as I answered your powerful plea in my previous blog, I will quote another passage from the Book Of Parables near the passage you were unable to locate: "Verily I say unto you, he that tooteth not his horn, his horn shall not be tooted." Keep on tootin' even unto seventy times seven, and by that time my defenses could possibly crumble, and I might say in resignation, "durn tootin."

At 10:28 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

I believe that the passage to which you refer occurs not in Proverbs but the Book of Jericho, which is largely about things that fall down.

Your defenses will also assuredly crumble . . . eventually. But why waste all that time and effort? Just send the money now. If you lack funds, sell the farm. But when you put it on the market, leave out the information about tornadoes, since that sort of thing tends to depress property values and my hopes.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 11:15 AM, Blogger jeanie oliver said...

If you get Cran to sell the farm, and send you money.I'll send you part of my retirement. So it's all on Uncle's shoulders now!
and where is JK- he's not around offering monetary options

At 11:34 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Well, perhaps you could put some moral pressure on Uncle Cran. Women are good at that sort of thing.

As for JK . . . well, if I recall my Latin, he's in his dies absconditus mode.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 3:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm returned and that $500,000 I was patiently awaiting being deposited into my Credit Unioun account (just for safekeeping for you of course Professor Hodges -administrative costs: minimal).

But as yet, I've seen no deposits from "other" sources. You do not need any account numbers by the way. Navy Federal assures me I "am known world-wide."


At 5:56 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

JK, your concern is touching.

Indeed, it is so touching that I know that you will be willing to send me the 500,000 now on the assurance that Ms. Theresa F. Rodrigues, that lady of high virtue, will soon be sending those funds to you.

Glad to have you back.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 6:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been sending my Readers Digest Sweepstakes since the tender age of 17, (the hope of winning such being the only thing keeping me alive on this earth). Should my perseverance pay off, you can rest assured you will be "remembered," dear nephew.

At 6:56 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

In blessed memory, you mean? I wouldn't like to wait that long!

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 7:04 AM, Blogger jeanie oliver said...

Now, Now, Prof,
begging people can not be choosing people

At 7:23 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Ah, but of that sleep, what dreams might come to beggar also me.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

At 10:43 PM, Blogger jeanie oliver said...

is this your own poetical thought or from someone else famous like you

At 4:19 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

It's an allusion to something an old friend, Bill Lancequaker, used to say.

He also once told me, "Horace, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

I told him to shut up and have another swig of good ol' mountain dew.

Jeffery Hodges

* * *


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