Monday, July 30, 2007

Big Ho's "Potter spoilers" Spoiled!

(Image from Wikipedia)

Don't look at the Big Ho's "Potter spoilers" . . . unless you don't want to have your reading of Rowling's latest (and last) volume spoiled.

Yes, you heard me right, even if you did have to think about it.

But if you're currently being tempted to read the Big Ho's "Potter spoilers" -- which you can access immediately to gratify that temptation -- then don't read my blog entry any further because what comes next will spoil the spoilers. Here's the Big Ho's first 'spoiler':
"1. I was shocked that Hermione was killed off in the first twenty pages. That was totally unexpected. Wow."
Liar! I've read 175 pages, and Whiney Hermione ain't dead yet. However, there remain another 584 pages, and that fact leaves plenty of collective room for hope.

So . . . I'll continue to hope the worst for Hermione and the best for me, but I'm still angry at the Big Ho because I bought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows solely to see Hermione get her comeuppance.

The Big Ho has five other "Potter spoilers" -- or should I say 'Potter soilers' -- given the Big Ho's predilection for a certain genre of humor -- but I've not read them yet. I read the Hermione 'spoiler' by chance as my eye happened to pause upon that particular day's entry before I realized what I was reading. Overjoyed to hear of Hermione's death, but not wanting to spoil any other unexpected plot developments, I immediately stopped reading the Big Ho and rushed out to a bookstore to grab the latest Potter and rush out again to start reading. My headlong rush was interrupted when the store clerks grabbed me and extorted money for a book that was already in my hands! Dammit! Don't Koreans know that "Possession is nine-tenths of the law"? That's one of those proverbial bits of practical wisdom that I learned as a kid along with other wise sayings like "Finders keepers, losers weepers." I guess that Koreans don't have any proverbs in their language, or they would know these things.

Anyway, I was soon rudely disappointed to discover that Hermione doesn't die . . . not in the first 20 pages, at any rate.

The truly unsurprising thing, of course, is Harry Potter's death. I was a bit taken aback to read of it in the first 20 pages, for one would expect the book itself to end at that point -- what with Voldemort victorious and all in this darkest of the Potter series -- but the book goes on and on and on as Voldemort and his Death Eaters hunt down and exterminate one Potter friend after another. Basically, the rest of the book appears to be a mopping up operation for the victorious forces of Voldemort, and I'm surprised that Hermione has survived so far.

Everybody knew that Potter had to die (so this isn't a plot spoiler) because Rowling had already announced that this latest volume would be the last in the series, tantamount to saying that Harry Potter dies.

So, this hairy Harry phenomenon will all be over soon, thank God! I do worry, ever so slightly, that Whiney Hermione might survive to fight on in subsequent volumes.

I certainly hope not, but if that should happen to happen, then I say that the time has come to join forces with the anti-Potter faction of evangelicals and ban these books!

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At 6:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's my favorite quotation from the book:

"Hello. My name is Kreacher the House Elf. You killed my master. Prepare to die."

At 6:58 AM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Aargh... I've not yet read those lines. The whole book is ruined for me. My entire life is over...

Jeffery Hodges

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At 9:00 PM, Blogger Regina said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 9:03 PM, Blogger Regina said...

Oooops, I commented and the fugged it up.

Let me try again...

I wish she would have killed Hermione then we wouldn't have to deal with Emma Watson's crappy acting in at least part of the last movie.

However, that "hacker" was full of crap and awfully stupid if he did get in and thought he had a copy of the real book.

I did get a real copy of the epilogue before the release, but I kept it quiet. The local bookstore already had my money anyway.

As for spoilers, I swear some pinhead came to my blog all pissed that I posted Kakutani's review. I gave her a nicely worded piece of my mind and she never returned. Thank goodness.

At 9:12 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

Hi, ExpatJane.

I'm not familiar with the Kakutani review. Actually, I've avoided reviews -- even the 'pretended' reviews. I wouldn't even read my own pretended review if I hadn't written it myself. I'm only a bit over half finished with the book, so I'm still being careful what I read and disbelieving anything that slips in -- such as what the Founder of S.P.E.W. wrote (which I'm pretending to assume is a lie).

I'm impressed that you got ahold of an epilogue in advance ... but I won't ask how.

Jeffery Hodges

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