Monday, December 11, 2006

Clueless Joe Jackson...

The perks of a professor...
(Image from Wikipedia)

Scott Nokes, of Unlocked Wordhoard, has an amusing post that he's titled "Professor Shoeless Joe" -- after the famous baseball player Shoeless Joe Jackson, who accepted a bribe to play badly in the 1919 World Series but played his best in the games anyway.

Scott calls himself "Professor Shoeless Joe" because -- as he explicitly informs his students -- he'll accept any bribe ... but the bribe won't alter a student's grade.

Scott's stories are based on his own experiences with bribery -- or more precisely, in resisting bribery -- and he recounts anecdotes from his years as an English teacher in Confucian Korea, barely post-Communist Lithuania, and clueless America.

I say "clueless" because Scott's best stories seem to come from encounters with clueless American students. Even those already receiving an "A" grade seem totally unaware:
Student: I just have to get a good grade in this class. Is there anything I can do?

Me: Well, not really, because ... (have to scoot away, because the student has just scooted her chair uncomfortably close to mine)

Me: Ehm. As I was saying, not really because ... (student puts her hand on my knee and leans forward suggestively)

Me: (moving back as far as I can, and speaking as quickly as I can) ... NOT REALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY GETTING AN "A!" You'd have to completely fail the final to get anything lower, and with your grades right now, even if you failed the final you'd still pass the class!

Student: Really? Oh. (Stand up and heads out the door)
Hmmm ... it seems that Scott won't accept every bribe after all, or perhaps this particular student simply wasn't persistent enough. Today's students just lack gumption!

Regular readers will recall my own secondhand anecdote about a student trading sex for grades, but that was secondhand. I've never had any student attempt to seduce me for a grade ... or for any reason.

I'd like to think that this derives from students' perception of my obvious integrity, but far more likely is my even more obvious ugly-mugliness.

Or maybe I'm the clueless one.


At 2:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha- That's a terrific photo.
It's refreshing to read words from someone with integrity peppered with a sense of humor.

Green-Eyed Lady (I'm not joking about my net name; Please see your May post about that incredible song. I do have a link to it, but I didn't post it on my site because the video is far too seductive. Another blogger posted the U-tube video/song on his site when he disoovered my blog.) If you want the link, please email me.

At 6:15 PM, Blogger Horace Jeffery Hodges said...

GEL, thanks again. I'll contact you about the link.

Jeffery Hodges

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